For some reason there still seems to be genuine shock occasionally when I tell people I'm doing a panto, so I'll briefly explain first. Every year I do a panto in late January. I'm currently rehearsing for my third panto.
Tonight they asked me to try out a new role and I'm quite excited about it. I was picked purely because of my size. I am *drum roll*
The back half of the panto horse! Hang on... that was in the title. That was a fail build up. Could change it but then i'd have to change this. I did delete the next sentance though, this sentance replaced it.
Apparantly I'm a natural. I don't see what's too difficult to be honest. All I do is copy what Gary's feet do and that's fairly easy. Apparantly we'll have to do some sort of dance. It should be rather fun!
In other news:
o Mountains out of molehills
o Thousands complained to Offcom about Jedwards staying in... They didn't care. And said there was nothing they could do.
o Chocolate kills Orangutans!
Adios x
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
The ass of an ass
Illness
I'm barely ever ill and I freaking hate it. Yesterday I was fine, I just had a bit of snuffles and today I don't feel good at all. I feel terrible.
I've established who is to blame and Humphreys is to blame for me being sick. He got it from Ben Harvey. The worst thing about being sick (apart from actually feeling like you want to die) is that people avoid you.
However, it's an extra thing to complain about, as I am doing. According to Max, yesterdays blogs weren't up to scratch. You try blogging when you feel like this Max!
A Dying Shrimpdude, out x
Monday, 9 November 2009
Permanent Loser
Rauwanne (sp?) drew a blue L on my forehead in drama to show my character is a loser. She drew it right down my scar too! I rubbed it loads of try and get it off. I even whipped out the shower gel to get rid of it and then I got it in my eye and it stang like a motherbitch.
If I can't fully get it off by tomorrow, I'm seriously not going to college.
Adios x
Peenarse!
I was sat in the UCAS area and this kid sat down from the year below. He's the one who wears the big ass headphones and wears The Doctor-like glasses.
We were sitting working and he sat there with his big ass headphones pumping out shit 90s music. Not only this he was sat drinking a mug of tea which we have no idea where he got it from and he kept slurping it. Slurping tea is just so freaking rude, what the actual jeff is wrong with him?
And he ate a couple of chocolate boys and he's such a noisy eater it's unreal. He eats with his mouth open, it's disgusting. Everything about him is just annoying.
I bloody hate him.
Sunday, 8 November 2009
What's not cool?
After much harranging and thought, I decided to bring this feature back semi regularly. I will be asking the public on their opinions of what is and what's not cool.
However today, riding on the bus without an MP3 player is not cool.
We've all done it, suddenly your none-specific MP3 player runs out of battery and your left without music and you are so bored. Or you forgot it. Or your none-specifc MP3 player suddenly crashes and dies for no particular reason.
While we're on it, know what else isn't cool? When you're on the bus and a really good song comes on your MP3 Player so you turn it up a little. And then you have your music so loud you don't hear your phone ring and then you see you have a missed call and you feel like a right arse!
So yeah, not cool. Adios x
Friday, 6 November 2009
Cry like a little boy!
For drama (college) I have to do a mental breakdown for our like climax scene where which everything goes horribly wrong. Don't want to give too much away obv.
But over the next three weeks I'm going to have to teach myself to cry, I've done the basics, but it's going to be bloody tough doing everything else. I'll talk to Mrs Fisher, she knows everything about everything. Then I'll ask the internet.
Wish me luck! Adios x
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Do Feel Dancing
Basically, I'm becoming a lot better at dancing at Watsons. I'm nailing the dances. We're currently learning one from Cats and it's solid. It's got this well complex bit in which when I saw the first time totally mindfucked me and I thought I will never be able to do that and now I've nailed it to a tee.
What else? Oh yeah! For our devised piece for our A2 drama I'm hoping to do a dance at the end to High School Musical's We're All In This Togethor. It'l be so cheesy and hilarious. I hope I get to choreograph it because that'll make it more than hilarious, that'd be hilhairyarse infact. Bad dancing disguised as ironically bad dancing is awesome ^^
In other news:
o James and Emily's baby Isaac is so cute
o Barry Coward is the freaking man
o Why are there so many break-ups lately??
o HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUNNAGE!
The Fourth Reich
The second thing they did is change the lunch queue. I don't know one person who isn't annoyed by this. It's stupid, the reason doesn't even make any sense. I told Gemma P to put it to the school council but I've heard nothing back. I told Gemma Green and she's on my side with the whole affair. It's bloody ridic, here's the whole blog: (http://theshrimpdude.blogspot.com/2009/10/stupid-lunch-queue.html)
Then they took away the self service. They still do that sometimes randomly. It's so stupid how they just randomly serve you themselves, I'm informed it's because of the kids for some reason. They said that they take too much potatoes or something stupid, but even if that is the case, why are they serving us six formers? Here's the whole blog: (http://theshrimpdude.blogspot.com/2009/10/self-service-no.html)
And now the final straw... every Tuesday I enjoy a valiant effort at a roast dinner. Well, I did. Apparantly now they are doing it every other week only. Something about not having enough time. This is outrageous! What the actual jeff? I love roast dinners and was amazed to learn at the start of the term that I have a free fourth on both Tuesdays so I can go to lunch early both days! And now they took it away! They can't take it away! They've been doing it every week for years now what's suddenly changed? Nothing, that's what.
So I'm rather annoyed and I shall be ranting and raving and getting things sorted. But I need your support, we need to destroy the Fourth Reich before it destroys our lunches. What next? No pudding?
Adios x
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
The Caucasian Chalk Circle
It was amazing. Act two was so much better than act one. I feel so sorry for the couple who sat next to me who left in the interval. The first act focused on the plight of this woman who had adopted a baby that wasn't hers as she fled and claimed the baby as her own. And the second half was the story of the new judge and the trial of who should have the baby, the woman who stole and looked after him for two years or his duchess mother.
It was Brechtian. Brechtian is a style of theatre which is really peculiar, basically the audience should always be aware that they are watching a play. So basically costume changes and set changes happen on stage. So two people stand up and move a block offstage. It's really amazing. The purpose of it is to not for you to get lost in the narrative but to learn the meaning behind the play. The message. This play was anti-war.
Oh and there was a guy from tv! The welsh guy from Grown Ups, if you remember it. It was on BBC3 and also they did a thing for comic relief. It took me forever to figure out where I knew him from. The best actor was the judge though, he was hilhairyarse.
I bet pratically noone cares about this blog, but I don't care ^^
In other news:
o Considering bringing back What's Cool?...
o The fourth reich of the dinnerladies continues...
Adios x
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
I WON SOMETHING!
Yeah. Here it is: Link
This is the description: The Ear Force P21 gaming headset pushes your Playstation 3 (PS3) gaming experience to a new level with superior stereo sound and crystal-clear communication on the PlayStation Network (PSN) through a USB connection. The P21 gives you a competitive advantage by bringing out sound cues in the game that are difficult to hear with speakers—such as the footsteps of an enemy sneaking up on you or the loading of a weapon at a far distance. By combining PSN online chat with stereo game audio, the P21 also lets you clearly hear the voices of online players so you can communicate without being distracted from the game.
How did I win? Well on saturday I tweeted something they said to tweet to get into the competition. About an hour ago I got a direct message saying I won. Me and four other people. The P21 is worth $80. I'm more than a little happy.
To be honest, I'm not going my hopes that it'll come. I bloody hope it does and I shall chase it up. Anyway, I shall post news as and when and if it happens.
In other news:
- Invites have been sent out for my party via facebook, if you've not got one, you're not invited
- Looking forward to Pete's party ^^
Monday, 2 November 2009
The Twitter Experiment
Oh wait... Yeah it is. So the only tweets that will happen are tweets that come automatically from dailybooth. So yeah. Everyone is trying to trip me up. I can do it. All I have to is not tweet until 21:00 on Sunday 8th November. I'm sure everything will be fine.
In other news:
- Cheer up Peter!
- Humphreys is back!
- Other News is back!
- Going to see a brectian play on Wednesday :D
Sunday, 1 November 2009
Spelling and Making Up Words
However, much more importantly I encourage the creation of new words. The creation of new words is a rare and wonderful occasion. Today I wrote a 1,250 essay for my good friend, Mark Field and managed to create two new words. I created these words:
Conservativisation: The process in which something becomes more conservative. Example: The Rump parliament went through a process of conservativisation due to the radical religious parties pressurising them.
AND
Unovercomeable: An adjective to describe something that cannot be overcome. Example: The shear awesomeness of Humphreys is unovercomeable.
AND
Pressurising: Much like pressuring, except worse. Example: ...due to the radical religious parties pressurising them.
I came up with that last one just now, it's best used in speech as it sounds really funky :P If you can think of any others, do add them to the comments!!
Adios x
Saturday, 31 October 2009
Trick or Treating
So we go up to the first door, and bear in mind this is Katie and Evie (Josh's sisters) first trick or treating outing ever - They're 9 and 10 btw. But yeahhh. We go up to the first door. A big, fat bald man answers the door with a knife in one hand, looks at us and then goes: "No, not here." and the slams the door! What a prick!
So, we went round loads of doors. So many people were out or hiding. We even went to one house and we saw the back room light was on and there were people there and then they turned the light off and didn't answer the door!! Another house, this girl about my age peared outside through some blinds, stared at me for ages and then buggered off, never answered the door!
The best house however was the house where a woman answered and she was really sorry but she hadn't prepared, so they gave them a tomato and a pound! A tomato!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL JEFF? WHO GIVES ONE TOMATO TO SHARE BETWEEN TWO KIDS?! THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL!
It was disasterous, it's probably cus it was Spondon. I hope it's not died out by the time my kids are old enough to go, I wouldn't want them to miss out on the fun that is trick or treating...
Adios x
Friday, 30 October 2009
Waters Of Mars
I am well excited ^^
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Adventures
But yeah, Josh and I were talking about what we should do and we decided that we should walk down to Alvaston and suprise Jade. And for anyone who doesn't know how to get to Alvaston, it's two buses away. When he first said this I laughed at him and told him he was nuts, but then I checked google maps and realised it's not as bad as I had first though.
So me and Josh Barfield set off to suprise Jade Brookes. Luckily he roughly knew the way. So we walked all the way down and it took us 1hour and 5mins (Google Maps told us it would take an hour and three minutes - how awesome is that?)
It was rather depressing when Jade's mum drove us home in under 15minutes. It kinda ruined the whole thing. Although walking so far was definitly worth it to see Jade's face as we turned up unannounced. Aaaaaaaaah, good times!
Adios
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
Sexism
Oh and 99% of sexist jokes towards men aren't funny. It's probably because women have smaller brains then men, they find it harder to come up with the humour. Anyway I tweeted at this:
"Please stop generalising half of the human population, just because you've dated some shit men, it's not our fault."
Nothing wrong with that tweet is there? Anyway I got back: "You're not even a #MAN! Ur a #BOY... Why do you care?! If it's such a problem, then why are u FOLLOWING ME?"
I didn't even have to use artistic liscense to make myself the bigger man in that situation, mainly because men are superior anyway. And for the record, I am no longer following her. I only follow people who entertain me, and crappy jokes about men is not entertainment.
Adios
The sexism towards women in this blog was ironic, if you got offended by it, you helped prove my point. Thank you x
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
This btw, is a picture of my most commonly tweeted words :)
I feel sorry for all those people who don't get twitter. Twitter is remarkably simple, if Oliver Swann - one of the popular kids from my year at college - can get twitter, you can get twitter. Btw, if you wanted to follow Swanny, his twitter account is @swann24601.
Anyway, for everyone who doesn't get twitter. Let me explain a few things about it. Twitter is like a better version of facebook updates. And don't let put you off it, you have to try it. You can tweet anything. I mainly tweet anything I think people will find interesting. It's great for that kind of thing.
NEWS! Twitter is simply amazing for news, as it has a thing on the side called Trending Topics and the 10 top most talked about things at any time are on there, so any news that occurs goes straight up there. And also little games like for example today there was "#WhenWeWereYoung" Where you tweet interesting things you remember about your childhood (I did a load, might make a blog about it - then again, might not :P)
How twitter works. To talk to someone, put an @ sign followed by the name. For example, "@Shrimpdude I liked your latest blog" <=== That's the latest message I got. Thanks Joe btw lol. Rt means ReTweet, it's where you re-tweet someone else's tweet because you found it perticularly funny enough that it had to be repeated. You get 140 characters. You can upload pictures via http://www.twitpic.com/ and you can shorten urls via http://www.tinyurl.com/. You can link it with any number of things rather easily.
This morning I checked this site which shows you your twitter statistics (http://tweetstats.com/) and it told me that in the month of October I've done 773. Which is the most tweets I've done out of all the months I've been tweeted so far. I thought I'd try and get to 1000, just for fun. So exactly 13 hours ago, I checked it and in October I had done 773 tweets. I checked it one minute ago, I've done 939. Which means in 13 hours I managed to do 166 tweets. Yes, I am addicted to twitter.
You should be glad that all my tweets don't go through and become facebook statuses like some people have it set up.
Adios x
Monday, 26 October 2009
Who does that?!
2) To truly do it justice, you had to smell it too.
3) The smell was so bad by the morning when I went in there to take the picture, I wretched three times then threw up in my mouth.
In other news:
- I bought back the other news section
- Emma M quit the panto :(
- VIVA has launched today and everyday at 21:00, Two and a Half Men is on... That's class
- David Tennant will be in Thursday and Friday's Sarah Jane Chronicles
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Thursday!
As you might know, on Thursday we went out to the vic to see Nate Champion and to see some metal/screamo bands. You might have been lucky enough to have been there.
Anyway, towards the end of the night I really needed a piss. Like really badly and I didn't want to go to the vic toilets because let's be honest, they're disgusting. So I held it in most of the night until I could hold it in no longer. And then we were at the assembly rooms because that's where Hollie had parked her car. And then I went for a piss. So I went behind the assembly car park to a little closed of section just by the back entrance to Bennets or whatever it's called.
And I started to get to what it was that I was there for. It may help to explain that during so, I was a little distracted. That day we had watched various zombie films and I was just thinking what I would do if a zombie come running up the alley I was looking down (I eventually decided I would probably piss myself :P)
Yeah and then i'd nearly finished and I looked to the left where I was pissing and there was an empty sleeping bag. And a bunch of bags and stuff. I'd been pissing next to a tramp/homeless guy's temporary for-want-of-a-better-word home.
I felt so bad but at the same time oh so relieved that he wasn't there!! I felt like such an idiot. He probably thought it was a hate crime or something.
Oh well... adios
Saturday, 24 October 2009
All Day...
Friday, 23 October 2009
Guitar Hero 3
And also, every single person who plays real guitar will not stop bitching about Guitar Hero. Look Guitarists, we're clearly not musically talented enough to play real guitar, let us press five buttons and strum one bar instead please thank you. And btw, my fingers still hurt. And all I played was Slow Ride on Hard and Paint it Black on Hard. This is coming from a guy who at his height completed Knights of Cydonia on Hard.
And another thing right... Noone plays Guitar Hero for fun. People play Guitar Hero for three reasons:
1) To get better. You have to do this reason to do the second reason!
2) To show off. Let's be honest, when a mate comes over and you nail Number of The Beast with 4 stars on hard, you feel more than a little proud. Once I had a small crowd gather and watch me play Bulls on Parade on Hard. I had a 250 streak going. I missed one note, everyone groaned and left. How demanding and depressing is that?
3) Because you're drunk. This is the funnest reason of them all.
Adios
Legendary Bus Driver
He ran over to the bus and he knocked once on the door. The bus driver looked at him and chuckled and then drove off.
Fun times.
Thursday, 22 October 2009
"HI NOTTINGHAM" by Ru Frith
Not many people have heard of Hereford, let alone been there (although a scary amount of people have passed through on D of E and such like, the river Wye seems particularly popular). It's a very small city though; we have a cathedral, a very old map of the world (Mappa Mundi if you're actually interested and bored enough to be reading this) and that's about it. Actually, word on the street is that it's the oldest map of the world. Oh wait- we also have a library with lots of chained up books so noone can steal them- that's the kind of trusting city that we are.
They're digging up the cloisters at the minute. They have to put up screens because they keep finding skeletons and technically it's illeagal to do that in public. You're only meant to grave-dig after night fall and with a preist present.
Anyway, we saw them dig up a human skull in english today. I go to the Cathedral School, see, so we get prime viewing to the site from the english block. We always eat cake in our english lessons, today was a raspberry sponge day. I would strongly recommend cake rotas to everyone, go invest. They really do brighten up your life that little bit more.
Well, hopefully you are a little more aware of what's going on west of you, maybe I've enlightened you slightly, but I doubt that greatly, and suggest you go out there and get a hobby if you actually found this
interesting.
Ru xx
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
New Doctor Who Logo
And here's the vid:
Very excited for the Waters of Mars! I wonder when it will air. My best has been Halloween for a long time now, but that's just ten days away now. Fleur's theory is that there will be one in October, one in November, one on Christmas and then the new series starting in 2010. It's been a painful year without Doctor Who, I blame the lack of Doctor Who for my bad exam results. Well... meh. Half term! Yay!
He will knock four times...
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Self Service? No?
So yeah, since yesterday the Catering staff have taking it upon themselves to stop the self service of the vegetables and potatoes.
For 10 and a half months we enjoyed serving ourself and giving out the portions that we wanted. For ten and a half months there was no probelm and then blam, they change it. What the actual jeff?
When questioned, they said that people take too much. I've never seen any evidence for that at all. But I suppose those lower school children must REALLY love their vegetables!
What is it with the catering staff lately? They've just taken it upon themselves to change things without telling anyone. Even Miss Green (Head of Year 13) was dazed and confused when she walked into lunch on a Thursday to see the lunch queue divided into two. I think something must be done, it's getting out of control. What on earth will they change next? If they can get away with this, they'll only keep doing things. They're like children who haven't been told no.
So I'm going to get things sorted. I may even start a facebook group: "Stop the Catering Staff Rebellion" You shall be notified if I do so.
Oh and they blocked facebook at college :(
Adios
A confession
There's been something that's been on my mind for a while. Only a few people know this, I've even kept it secret from some of my best friends, but now it's about time I told people.
I've got shit at Guitar Hero. Like, seriously. I realised this the weekend before last. I got my mittens on a copy of Guitar Hero V at a mates house. And I ran straight into the Iron Maiden song "Two Minutes to Midnight" And my god... I was terrible. I was on hard, and I failed within the first minute. I had to switch to meduim and I still only got 89%!
And then last night I dreamt I'd got even worse at it. I was seriously dreadful. And it was so embarrasing. Bad times.
But I hope to get GHV for my birthday/x-mas and then I can brush up and maybe hit expert :D
Adios
Monday, 19 October 2009
Watch
And I love it. I can't wait to be wearing it again! I'll probably do a rant later btw about Lunch, but for now, that's all.
Adios
Sunday, 18 October 2009
The Problem with Apple...
Which are you? An Alien or a Robot?
Saturday, 17 October 2009
Chavs
Just walked past two of the shittest chavs ever. Let me give the full low down. I'm currently walking to Borrowash when I see two chavs coming towards me, I know one of them because he was a year or two below me at primary school. I'm thinking hear we go. Then I realise I'm wearing mostly black which to them instantly means I'm an emo, which isn't great.
So yeah, I'm walking and we meet as we cross a road and they seperate and I walk through the middle. Not an ideal position being sandwiched between two chavs. Did I mention I've got my iPod in? Well, I do.
And the harder chav, the one who I went to school with goes to me: "You allright?"
And I reply: "Fine thanks, mate."
And he mimics me putting on an exagerated voice.
Is that it?! Come on lads, you can do a lot better than that. Asking me how I am and then mimicing me is hardly menancing. You are two of the shittest chavs ever. Back to chav school with you.
Adios
Rock The House
So time passed. I remember many mornings spent listening to the Clint Eastwood Single CD and singing all the words (I still know them all to this day). I do distinctly remember putting my CD player in the shed and continuously listening to the self-titled album Gorillaz while I painted my Warhammer. Then one day I lost the album and I was rather sad.
Cut forward many years. I had given up on Gorillaz as I thought they were dead. And BLAM! Out of nowhere my mate Phil Simpson goes to me: "Ah yeah, have you seen Gorillaz new single? I recorded it of MTV, wanna borrow it?" So the next day I take it home and put the tape in the VCR and watched as Feel Good Inc. Played out infront of my very eyes. I was amazed. Gorillaz were back, and they were still AMAZING! It was amazing.
So yeah, I got the Demon Days album and I listened to it a bunch of times. And then I took it to Whitehouse once to listen to and someone stole it. To this day, I am still convinced that it was Chris Bates' ginger brother who stole it. But I have no evidence and no way to prove it. I suppose it doesn't matter anymore.
But yeah, I bought those two albums from Amazon for a grand total of £0.69 not including post and packaging. Cheap, cheap, cheap!
Going to listen some more now! Adios










