And That's All I Have To Say About That

How To: Bullshit your way through an essay

2012-01-12T20:44:00.002Z

This picture is completely irrelephant.

It is really simple to bullshit your way through an essay, no matter how long it is.. I'm sure you've been faced with an essay at some point in your life and you're not entirely sure what to write. Or you have to review a book, and the truth is you haven't been arsed to read it. Or you watched the film instead.So, I'm going to give you quite a simple way of getting through it. Follow this nice easy guide to writing a load of crap.

Start with a nice long sentence which essentially just rearranges the words in your title or question and maybe add a tiny bit to it. Then go onto explain what this question means, what the circumstances around it are. This is the point where you should add a bit of totally irrelevant background detail. Basically, find an appropriate wikipedia page, read the top section which summarises everything and paraphrase that. Then add any other information which is kinda relevant but could easily go without being mentioned.

There are a multitude of ways you can then start rolling out your points. I always use this one. There is not one essay I have written in the last three years which didn't have "multitude of ways" somewhere in it. It's just a nice fancy way of saying 'I have lots of stuff to talk about and I know what I'm saying.' and plus multitude is a really posh word that you wouldn't really hear in every day conversation. Make sure you do actually have a point. That much is essential. As long as you have a point though, you can pad it out. Put down your point, and then feel free to explain it in detail. Go into as much detail as you feel necessary. Make sure you're explaining things that are actually quite basic points but you can still kinda get away with saying. This adds to the word count. Sometimes you can be docked marks for not being within 10% of it, so make sure you're getting somewhere in that ball park.

Thus, use a nice connecting word to get to your next point. Moreover, therefore, on the other hand and to be used rarely, however are all good. Then feel free to add your counter point and pad this out too. Your main waffle is going to be when you get to your explanation. Make sure you half repeat yourself. Touch on something but don't go into detail and then later, say it again but this time with a bit more detail. This way, you can avoid repeating yourself while maximising word count. Just get those words down. Get in the zone. Let your fingers touch the keys and let the bullshit spew down your arms through your fingers onto your Microsoft Word document.

Soon, you may realise that you are one decent sized paragraph away from the right kind of word count. There's where you dish out the irrelevant - yet also quite interesting - point. Make sure it makes contextual sense. I mean, yes, it's irrelevant but if you're writing an essay about the economic situation of Australia in the 1980s, don't start talking about the potassium content of bananas. A good example would be while doing an essay about Stalin's policies, include a paragraph comparing his policies to Hitler's policies. This isn't relevant but neither is it irrelevant. If this point is good, it will make you look good and clever and then hopefully the marker will be all like, well yes they clearly know they're stuff. When infact you've read your way through two or three wikipedia pages. Do not underestimate the power of wiki. Read lots. Never quote. Paraphrase rarely.

Some people like to write their conclusion at the start. These people are weird. Don't listen to them. Your conclusion should just be a regurgitated version of your introduction plus what you have learned since then. Then add a slice of your own opinion, although obvious you should use the first person to show that these are your views. Then add on some all powerful note, either leaving it on a question or some moral statement. This makes you seem all philosophical and shit and since this is the very last thing your reader will read you want them to leave feeling good about you.

And that is how you bullshit. I've just bullshitted about bullshit.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Disclaimer: I do not bullshit on my assignments at University and I always make sure to do all my research a week in advance and plan what I am going to say. Promise.

Since when did I act my age anyway?

2011-12-10T07:38:00.001Z

So currently, it's 07:38 on the 10th of December, 2011. Which means that I am now twenty years old. Well, technically I was born at 2pm exactly GMT (Well, it was 3pm in South Africa, which is an hour ahead) so I'm not EXACTLY twenty yet. But this is my birthday.

For a while now, I've been teasing people who are twenty and taunting that they are 'Halfway to Forty'. Ignoring the inevitable consequence of time and the dragging of days towards December. And then, kinda like a brick wall it hit me that I too will be old. I am no longer a teenager. I am now a certified twenty something. Even while writing this, I am grimacing. How did this happen? When I started this blog, I was sixteen. Now I'm a fully functioning adult living away from home, paying bills and washing my own clothes (when I can be arsed).

It doesn't seem like so long ago that I'd wake up, have breakfast and then spend the majority of my day playing PS1. Crash Bandicoot. Spyro. Monkey Hero (What a game!) It doesn't seem like so long ago that I sat my SATs in Year 6. It doesn't seem like so long ago that I was sat in a random room at Trent being interviewed my Mr Edgar. It doesn't seem like so long ago that I got my GCSE results, or the last day of Trent, or the day I moved into The Bakery in Cardiff.

Time can be cruel, but I don't care. I'm Dan fucking Rowling and even though I am too old to be swearing on a blog on the internet, I don't care. This changes nothing. All this means is that I have been on this Earth long enough to enjoy twenty cycles around the centre of the sun. And what a nice twenty cycles they have been. I have enjoyed them completely. And just because I've hit a milestone, doesn't mean I'm going to radically change. I'm still Dan fucking Rowling.

Apologies in advance for being a douchebag but I'm going to quote Ferris Bueller: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you might miss it.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Miracles

2011-09-28T20:56:00.000+01:00

A miracle is mostly defined as an extraordinary event in the physical world which appears to be so great, that it was the creation of divine intervention. You can all probably think of events in your life or someone you know's life, which someone would claim is a miracle.

However, I am an atheist. I don't believe in miracles. I don't understand how theists can believe in miracles either. If God acts every day to help and save us in these miracles, where is he when other stuff happens? Where was God in February 1945 when Dresden was being completely annihilated in the Allied bombings? Where was God when the Atomic bombs were (in my opinion, unnecessarily) dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Where were the miracles when 20,000 people died on the first day of the Somme? For every miracle that happens, there are many anti-miracles. As in, events which appear to be the opposite.

'Miracles' do occur, but they are not a product of divine intervention, they are a product of mathematics. Profesor Littlewood - a professor of mathematics at Cambridge University - theorised that so called miracles happen to an individual on a basis of one a month. Littlewood defines a miracles as a special event happening at a frequency of one in a million. Then assuming that humans experience one event every second (for instance, seeing the computer screen, moving the mouse, reading this blog). He then assumes humans are alert for eight hours in a day. According to this definition of a miracle, you can expect to experience a miraculous event every thirty five days.

End of the day, things happen. Some strange, some not. Whether you explain those events are divine or not is irrelevant, they still happened.

And that's all I have to say about that.

I Think My Life Just Gained Direction

2011-09-27T19:15:00.000+01:00

Last week I had a thought, and I think I've pretty much decided what I'm going to do with my life. I was told recently that now I was 19, I'm meant to have some kind of idea to what career I might be doing with my life, so I gave it some serious thought. And as far as I could figure I could do a few things, such as: Radio Presenter, Something to do with the Police Service (As Official Vocab Guidelines state that Police Force is too aggressive), Teacher, Scuba Diving Instructor or something to do with business.

And then it hit me and I couldn't believe I'd never thought of it before. I think I want to be a lecturer of History. I would start as a lecturer, and then become a Professor when I'd completed the appropriate research etc. If it's good enough for Ted Mosby, it's good enough for me. But, I'd definitely want to be a Professor because I'd want to have a doctorate. I'd have to initially do a Masters in History and then, I'm not sure what else.

But running my own classes, I would really love that. I'm genuinely interested in History and I really like talking about it. I like telling people about it and educating people. By doing this, I could spend some time living in a foreign country, which I've always wanted to do (Wales doesn't count, btw). And this way, hopefully I can become a published Historian as well. And besides, they said you should do something you enjoy and I certainly enjoy History.

So in a few years, I might be Dr Rowling.

And that's all I have to say about that.

30DGC - Day 25

2011-04-24T13:27:00.000+01:00

The most sick game you ever played.

I don't know... Who cares? I pick games for their amazing story, believable characters, amazing soundtrack, epic gameplay, multiplayer abilities, innovation, superb graphics and atmosphere it creates. I don't pick a game simply because that game allows you to chainsaw a man in half. But since we're picking, I'm going to saw Super Mario Galaxy because on one of the first levels, you commit genocide. True story. Play the game.

30DGC - Day 24

2011-04-23T13:19:00.001+01:00

Your favourite board game.

Wait... You want me to pick a board game? Why would you want me to pick a board game? I thought this was about real games, not silly board games? Siiigh. FINE. I'll play along. I was thinking about going for the very obvious Monopoly, as I used to love that game. It's the epitome of capitalist games. But I decided not to, instead I remembered a better game that I used to play. Mouse Trap. With this machine you start by turning the crank, that rotates the gears, that push the lever, that moves the shoe, that kicks the bucket, that sends the ball down the stairs and into the gutter, that leads to the rod that releases a second ball, that falls through the bathtub and onto the springboard, that catapults the diver into the washtub, that causes the cage to fall and FINALLY, hopefully, capture a mouse. Truly genius game. Used to absolutely love it. Wish I could get my paws on one.

30DGC - Day 23

2011-04-22T15:52:00.000+01:00

Game of your childhood.

Digimon World. Obviously, a lot of games are from my childhood but when I look back to my childhood, this one really sticks out. I'm not sure why this one does in particular. I think it's because I put the most effort into it and I really liked it. I spent a long time having no idea what to do. I was thoroughly confused and really bad at the game. Morevoer, I would never listen to anything people had to say as I was always in a rush to go out into the world with my Digimon. Anyway, somehow I stumbled upon the way to play the game and managed to become reasonably good at it. I don't think I ever got near completion, but I did get rather far. Far enough to be proud of myself anyway. I just had a look online, and if I want to play this again, I'm looking at at least £20 used. If I want to buy it new, it will cost me £250. I'm definitely going to buy it at some point though. So worth £20 for the game of my childhood.

30DGC - Day 22

2011-04-21T15:46:00.000+01:00

Game that you never finished.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Absolutely shameful I know. Many years ago, I got to the final boss and couldn't kill him. I tried a few times and then eventually gave up. When I tried to return to the game, I still couldn't do it. And then I lost the disc and now I can never finish it without repurchasing the game. And it's expensive. So perhaps, this game will be forever go unfinished. Or perhaps in a few years times, I'll get all obsessive, buy it for a ridiculous amount of money and then finish it. If I do, I'll come on here and gloat. I promise.

30DGC - Day 21

2011-04-20T15:37:00.000+01:00

Game with your favorite soundtrack.

Final Fantasy X. Beautiful soundtrack and a beautiful story. It came a close second in my favourite RPG. I bought the soundtrack and loved it. It's perhaps the only soundtrack to a game I've ever bought. I might go listen to it now actually...

30DGC - Day 20

2011-04-19T14:46:00.001+01:00

Game that was your biggest disappointment.

WET. Utter rubbish.

30DGC - Day 19

2011-04-18T14:42:00.000+01:00

Your favorite Massive Multiplayer Online game.

I was well into this back in the day. I spent an entire summer playing this game when I was 16. It was practically all I would do. I was really really addicted to it. MMORPGs are addictive. Stay clear of them. Except this one. It's amazing.

30DGC - Day 18

2011-04-17T14:35:00.000+01:00

Your favorite game based on a book.

I had a look at this. I went on Google and found this. It's a list of all the games that were ever based on books, as you can imagine, there aren't many. And of these very few titles, I have played very few of them. I have briefly played Dante's Inferno. I have played the original text based Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on the web. And I played Lord of the Ring: The Two Towers when I was a kid. So I have a choice of three. I refuse to chose. This is a stupid day.

30DGC - Day 17

2011-04-16T14:30:00.000+01:00

Your favorite game based on a movie.

Star Wars Battlefront 2. Used to absolutely love this game. Played it recently and admittedly, it hasn't aged very well. Although, I have high hopes that if there is ever a sequel (the future of it looks insecure) that it will be bought up to date and will compete with multiplayers such as COD, MoH and Battlefield. But yeah, I had to pick a Star Wars game for today, there was no way I couldn't. I nearly picked Lego Star Wars, but I remembered this and chose this instead. Might have a few games of it later actually.

30DGC - Day 16

2011-04-15T14:30:00.000+01:00

Game you could play over and over again.

Yes. I am picking a Call of Duty game for one of my days. This embarrasses me slightly because Call of Duty is the same formula, released every year, with slight improvements each year. Therefore, the award goes to the last three Call of Duty games released collectively. Black Ops, Modern Warfare 2 and World At War. I have clocked many hours on them combined and ultimately they are quite fun with friends.

30DGC - Day 15

2011-04-14T14:20:00.000+01:00

The last game you played.

GTA: San Andreas. Bought it yesterday for PS2. Nearly finished it before, but started again from the beginning yesterday. It's dated a bit but still good.

30DGC - Day 14

2011-04-13T14:19:00.000+01:00

Game featuring your favorite villain

Infamous. It has to be Kessler. He is by far my favourite villian. He's even better than Darth Vader. I mean, this guy is a freaking genius. And I could not believe the plot twist at the very end of the game. If you don't wish to find out, look away now. Kessler, the main villian, is actually an alternate reality version of the protagonist, Cole. He came back in time to change the future, and make himself (and you) a better person and to do the right thing. He comes back in time to turn himself into a hero, by being a villian. It's simply incredible. I love Kessler.

30DGC - Day 13

2011-04-12T10:48:00.001+01:00

Game featuring your favorite character.

Smash Brothers Brawl. I've decided that this is a stupid day. It's utterly silly. How can I have just one favourite character? It changes all the time, at the moment it's Jak but only because I'm currently in the process of recompleting the Jak triology. Next week, I might have a burst of Legend of Zelda and then Link will be my favourite character. You see, it's utterly retarded. So since this is the case, I chose a game with so many characters in it. A lot of them have been my favourite characters at one point or another. So yeah. Sorted.

30DGC - Day 12

2011-04-11T11:23:00.000+01:00

Game from developer you hate the most.

Any Sonic game that isn't Sonic 1, 2, 3 or Adventure Battle 2 made by The Sonic Team. I hate this developer and all it's affiliates with a passion. Sonic Team were slowly falling out of my favour over the years after the envitable decline after Sonic Adventure 2 Battle was released and made history as being the best Sonic game ever. After that, there was a series of bad Sonic games, which fnially pinacled with Sonic Unleashed, the game from Day 2. And from that day onward, I vowed never to buy another Sonic game. And I haven't. So yeah, Sonic Team ruined Sonic for me and crushed the little belief I had left that they would finally make another good Sonic game, and for that... They are my most hated developer.

30DGC - Day 11

2011-04-10T17:30:00.001+01:00

Game from your favourite developer.

Jak II is the game and Naughty Dog is the Developer. I love Naughty Dog. Naughty Dog are an incredible developer. Naughty Dog made the original Crash Bandicoot games, and then they made Jak I, II and III. They are now making the Uncharted games. They're responsible for two of my favourite series, Jak series and the Crash series. Therefore, they are my favourite developer.

30DGC - Day 10

2011-04-09T16:12:00.000+01:00

Your favourite Sports Game

Clearly, there's so many games I could pick for this, I mean I play so many sports games...which one could I pick...? Of course I'm joking. I don't play sports games and I don't have a favourite. I mean, I could lie to you and pick one of the Sports games I have played in the past. Infact, these are all the sports games I have owned: Wii Sports, Fifa 2001, Brian Lara's Cricket 2004, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. Not exactly an ecliptic collection. I've not really owned many unless you count wrestling games, but wrestling isn't a sport, it's entertainment as it's all fake. I've never really been much into sports. I watch the odd football match and vaguely follow a team, I'll watch the odd match of football, cricket or rugby if it's important and I understand the offisde rule in football but that's about all it comes to really.

So yeah, there is no winner of today as I literally couldn't care less about sports games.

30DGC - Day 9

2011-04-08T01:07:00.001+01:00

Your favourite Racing game.

Burnout Paradise. I still play this game, I picked it up ages ago during a christmas sale and I'll whack it on every now and again. If not for the races, just how calmly you can drive at how speeds around the city. It's so refreshing to have free roaming on a racing game. This game takes a bit leap from Burnout Revenge (which I nearly considered), but in all the right ways. The motorbikes, although limited are extremely fun. Free roam is amazing. The new unlock system is challenging and makes the game much more interesting. I love that it's so accessible, you can just pick up the controller and drive. I'm going to have to give this another play now. Why do I end up playing all the games I pick for this challenge?

30DGC - Day 8

2011-04-07T00:54:00.000+01:00

Your favourite Strategy Game.

Age of Empires 2: Age of Kings. It's got to be done. This game was absolutely legendary. It was simply breathtakingly incredible. It was also one of the first strategy games I played on, and neither being that big on them, I used to absolutely love this. I used to waste hours and hours and hours playing on this game. I used to create my own empires over and over again, build it up and then rape everyone around me. My parents used to play it before I did, and I just used to sit and watch them play. I just loved it so much, it was just so mesmerizing. And the cheats were great too, aegis would make you work really fast, lumberjack would give you more wood, howdoyouturnthisthingon would give you a car with machine guns attached. Simply amazing. If you somehow let this slip you by, play it, or one of it's descendants. It's well worth it.

30DGC - Day 7

2011-04-06T07:39:00.000+01:00

Your favourite RPG Game.

Tales of Symphonia. Not very well known, only released on the Gamecube in Europe. However, ridiculously amazing. Better than any Final Fantasy. The thing that drew me in was the alternate combat system. Whereas Final Fantasy have been struggling to make real time battles work since 2006 (the year they released FF12 - which was shit and didn't work) - Tales of Symphonia had real time battles PERFECTED since 2003. The combat system works effortlessly and is ridiculously amazing. Moreover, it's an optional co op - so you can wire up another controller, grab a mate and both of you can work on killing that irritating boss. Story line is amazing. Looks really good. Lovable characters.

I've just had a bit of a look on the internet and I've seen that it's quite rare. Damn.

30DGC - Day 6

2011-04-05T02:40:00.000+01:00

Day 06 - Your favorite First Person Shooter.

Couldn't really decide on a single FPS that I liked the most, so I went with the one that brought me most enjoyment. Literally spent so much time playing this online with my mates, and so yeah. It's my favourite first person shooter. Other contenders were: Bioshock 1 or 2, Killzone 2, Timesplitters: Future Perfect and the other COD games.

30DGC - Day 5

2011-04-04T23:26:00.001+01:00

Your favourite adventure game.

Jak and Daxter. When I first saw this day, I was like... Legend of Zelda. Standard! But today, Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy arrived in the post. I was meant to be doing an essay today, but instead I set about playing this game. And it's like I've fallen in love all over again. The love I have for this game far succeeds the love I ever felt for any Zelda game. I mean, this game broke records. It's in the Guinness Book of Records: Game Edition for being the first console game to have a seamless 3D world, and this was in 2001. Playing it now, the graphics are impeccable for one of the first games released on PS2. Oh, and the story of the entire sequel is simply amazing. I am truly gutted that Naughty Dog decided to leave this behind in the PS2 era and move on with Uncharted (I should really play that...). But yeah, it's amazing. I think I'm going to go and play it now actually...

30DGC - Day 4

2011-04-03T16:14:00.000+01:00

Your favorite fight game.

Tekken IV. I bought this from Toys R Us shortly after it came out, I remember because it cost me £45 which is still probably the most I've ever spent on a game. It was the first fighting game I ever bought, and I've not really bought that many. I bought it because when I was a kid, my friend Adam had Tekken 2 and 3 and I used to play them from time to time. Anyway, I really liked this game even though fighting games aren't really my thing. I haven't owned that many but distinctly remembered loving this one. Immense fun, I completed it with every characters. Just talking about it makes me want to play it - I've actually just loaded it up on my PS2. If I enjoy this I might buy the latest one too... Oh and this game has surprisingly good graphics.

30DGC - Day 3

2011-04-02T12:30:00.006+01:00

First Game You Finished

Pokemon Red was the first game I ever finished. I remember it to this day, the exact moment I finally beat the rival. I had tried for ages to get through the Elite Four. At the time, I had known nothing about RPGs (this being the first one I had played) and I was really bad at it. My team were awful apart from my level 60 something Charizard. I did the whole Elite Four with him. I was so happy when I beat Lance and thought it was all over and then so angry when your Rival shows up. Anyway, I got to the last pokemon, Blastoise and I have like no health left and I'm on my last pokemon - Charizard and my rival was in the same position. And I didn't have any moves left, so I defeated him with Struggle. Such an amazing moment. Will remember it forever.

30DGC - Day 2

2011-04-01T12:31:00.020+01:00

Worst Game You've Ever Played

Now, everyone gets a bit nervous whenever anyone announces a new Sonic game. It's the same thing with all of us, we all remember Sonic as being so amazing and we just wish that those bastards at SEGA could get the formula right again and fix everything. And every time they release a new game, we all shuffle our feet and kind of hope this time it'll be different, this time they might do it and this time we might have a good Sonic game! This is what was running through my mind when I saw this on the shelf and picked it up spontaneously. Turns out however, that this was the worst game I've ever played. And I've never bought a Sonic game since. I even wrote a blog after playing it - read it here. And no, this isn't an April Fools. I really hate Sonic.

30 Day Game Challenge - Day 1

2011-03-31T12:31:00.001+01:00

Best Game You've Ever Played

Fallout 3. Just about takes the spot ahead of Heavy Rain. I picked it up spontaneously after knowing very little about it during January sales, and it was the best spontaneous purchase I ever made. Absolutely hilarious in parts, loads of comedy. Just the right amount of difficulty. Immensely long, amazing gameplay, nice mix of genres, amazing story, great weapons, replay value, working combat system, expansions and let's not forget Liam Neeson! There is literally no bad things I could say about this game. Best Game Evaaaaaaaaah.

Life Goals and Ambitions

2011-02-20T15:10:00.000Z

I was thinking the other day what I want to do with my life and I decided that just cruising along and letting things happen to me, lassiez faire style, isn't the best thing to do. So I decided to write a brief list of things that I did want to do with my life. It's no definitive list, but it's certinaly a rough idea of things I definitely want to achieve.

1. Go to Fiji
2. Go back to New Zealand
3. Visit South Africa
4. Have a threesome
5. Play for a rugby team
6. Run a marathon
7. Skydive or do a bungee jump.
8. Have Children
9. Get married
10. Meet a celebrity I have idolised.
11. Spend some time working professionally for a radio station.
12. Buy a house in Oakwood or Ockbrook.
13. Meet my Godfather, David.
14. Audition for a professional performance - such as a play etc.
15. See Iron Maiden live.
16. See The Springboks play live.
17. Visit the Berlin Wall.
18. Read Bismarck's memoirs.
19. Read the Communist Manifesto.
20. Go on a Lad's Holiday
21. Go to Amsterdam
22. Be the best man at a wedding.
23. Build something
24. Spend time living in a foreign country
25. Go to the top of Table Mountain
26. Join the Mile High Club
27. Go back to Mauritius
28. Learn an Instrument

That's all I have right now, but I keep adding to it, so I may add some more onto it.

The Last Show

2011-02-13T21:41:00.000Z

It seems that due to a timetabling change, that my radio might be coming to an end. Unless I can move it, then the show that I'm doing on Tuesday (15/02/11) will be my final show. Fortunately for you crazy cats, Miss Hollie Barton will be joining me for the show so the last show will be a good one.

So tune in at: www.tequilaradio.co.uk at 11pm on Tuesday for a corker of a show.

Lysistrata in Belgium

2011-02-09T23:53:00.006Z

Lysistrata is a Greek play, written by Aristophanes. You probably won't remember that it was the subject of my A Level Theatre Studies exam. The whole plot of Lysistrata is that the two nations are in a war of attrition, in which there was no clear victors and lots of causalities. Anyway, the plot goes that the women of the both sides of the war stop having sex with the men and vow to not have sex with the men until they end the war.

But now, this has become reality. A female Belgian politician has told MPs' wives to ban sex until the country forms a government. Senator Marleen Temmerman said spouses should 'keep their legs crossed' to bring an end to the deadlock that has lasted 240 days. 'It worked in Kenya - a week after wives stopped having sex, a deal was on the table,' said Ms Temmerman, a qualified gynecologist. Belgium is poised to break the 249 day record held by Iraq for the nation to spend the longest time without government.

Now, that is amazing. BUT I really don't think it will work. Women need sex just as much as men do.

Stronger Than I Look

2011-02-07T09:34:00.000Z

A lot of things about me are surprising. Every one seems to underestimate me, and to be honest... Who can blame them? I don't look like much. Just your average skinny guy. But as soon as I take my shirt off... Nah, who am I kidding, there's barely anything on me.

The thing is, I can't be bothered to go down to the gym either. I'm really not bothered that I'm not amazingly buff, and my biceps aren't like thighs. Because, at the end of the day it would purely be a looks thing. I don't every lift heavy things, (unless you count carrying heavy shopping home from Tesco), I don't need to be fit for a sport and I don't need big muscles to get women.

So yeah, I've not got loads of muscles on me. I have enough to get by though. And that's good enough for me.

Peter Pan Syndrome Part 2

2011-02-06T17:53:00.003Z

This is a blog sequel from a blog I did last year, on the 6th of February 2010. The blog was named Peter Pan Syndrome and was a series of complaints about growing up and gaining responsibility and lack of enthusiasm for doing so.

Last year I was worried that I wouldn't be able to hack University. I wrote an entire blog complaining about how I wasn't ready to grow up and that I wouldn't be able to hack it. I look back at that blog now and I think... God, what a whiny man-child that I was. I mean, I can understand that I was scared and stuff, but I totally overeacted.

I complained that I wouldn't be able to handle money and that I'd be living on Tesco own brand chocolate spread and Tesco own brand bread. For a start, since I've got to University I have handled money really well. And besides, what's wrong with Tesco own brand bread and chocolate spread? 74p for a loaf of bread is amazing. And I always spoil myself to Cadbury's Chocolate Spread. And food is so cheap, I can eat all week for £4.

Why was I so scared to grow up? University is amazing. There's nothing better than living on your own, making all your own decisions and doing what you want to do all the time. Of course I was going to have a bit of trouble adjusting, but did I really think I was so incapable that I wouldn't be able to handle it? And I have handled it all. I'm sensible with money, don't drink too much, get all my assignments in on time. I've started jogging (and hope to continue).

And now I've seen that I've this much, the rest of it doesn't seem scary anymore. Bring it.

Lessons From How I Met Your Mother Part 3

2011-02-05T12:10:00.000Z

11. The Naked Man

The Naked Man is a brilliant tool for any man to have in his arsenal. The Naked Man is extremely simple and you wouldn't expect it to work but it works 2 out of 3 times. When a date isn't going according to plan and you think there's little chance that you will get even get a goodnight kiss, the Naked Man is an efficient tool to get you back in there. When you take her back to your flat, make an excuse to get into her flat, such as using the bathroom. While she's out of the room, quickly get naked. When she returns, she'll laugh and be so amazed at your confidence that she'll sleep with you. Works 2 out of 3 times. Guaranteed.

12. Reacher and Settler

This is a theory about relationships. In goes that in some relationships (but not all), that there is a reacher, and a settler. One person reaches for someone better than them, and the other one settles for someone worse than them. This isn't true of all relationships though, but it does work for quite a few of them.

13. On The Hook

This is a euphemism for stringing along someone's interest in you until someone better is available. So it's basically you are someone's back up, incase there is no one better around. This isn't a very nice one, but it does happen. I've known people to be on the hook and to have someone on the hook.

Last few theories coming soon.

I'm too pissed to write a blog so have this instead.

2011-02-04T15:30:00.001Z

Dan asked me to write a blog for him because I am from Canadaland and I am amazing and the coolest person he knows. Okay, not really, but I am from Canadaland (commonly known as Canada). Dan says that I talk funny, but really don’t know what he’s on aboot, eh? Anyway, lets give you the low down on Canada. We live in igloos because they are easy to build and keep the penguins out. My computer right now is powered by my dog sled team running on a treadmill. We also don’t have refrigerators, we just keep everything out in the snow. Once again, not really, however we do have a pretty awesome winter, which finally leads me what I wanted to talk about. I realized yesterday that England doesn’t have a winter. It never snows in England, and when it does everyone freaks out. It’s freaking ridiculous. Just the other night it was 11 degrees. Eleven degrees, at night! It’s supposed to colder at night. See, in Canada there is a difference in temperature depending on the season. I live in southern Ontario, so around here it’s usually between -5 and -25. But the big thing in winter is the snow. I remember a couple Halloweens where I had to wear my snow suit under my costume when I was growing up (seriously). Anymore there isn’t any real amount of snow until mid to late December. Right now, late January-early February, is the peak time for snow. We just recently had a ‘snowmageddon’, or really big snow storm for the non-Canadians. It wasn’t really that bad though, only about a foot and a half maybe two feet of snow. However it does make me happy that I can dig a hole in the snow in my front yard and sit in it and not be seen. Playing in the snow is amazing, but I would say one of the best things you can do when the snow is really deep is lay in it. Honestly, snow chairs/beds are the most comfortable thing you will ever encounter. Yesterday I was just laying in the snow for a good half hour. I could go on and on about snow, all the different kinds of snow, the best kinds for building different things, testing to see if being naked in a snow suit is just as warm as being clothed (tried it, it is.), crazy carpeting, snowmobiling (I almost drove off a cliff the first time I was ever on a snowmobile, but we won’t get into that), however there is just not enough space. Thinking about all these wonderful things makes me really sad for people in England who don’t experience real winter. I couldn’t imagine growing up without snow. Childhood without snow is like... Bob McKenzie without Doug. Wait, that’s a Canadian thing, you won’t understand it, eh? It’s like Kraft Dinner-- don’t have that either. Tim Hortons without-- damn, another Canadian thing. Screw it, life without a real winter just plain sucks.

With much love, Shelby.
Also, because I am a self-promoting whore, if you want to hear more from this crazy Canuck, check out www.youtube.com/whyhelloshelby

Jog on

2011-02-03T19:23:00.000Z

I have been meaning to start jogging for an unfeasible amount of time. Like, as in since at least Summer. I planned it and anything, and I knew exactly where I would have jogged to and even several times plan to jog on certain occasions. But I just never got round to it.

And then with the new year, came the inevitable choice of getting fit - something that I did fairly well and I was rather proud of. But that was all down to me joining Rugby Titans. So when the New Year hit, I decided to do some jogging and get into shape because I am a bit embarrassed about how unfit I actually am. So I kept planning to go jogging but I always found excuses not to go like my trackies were dirty or it was raining etc.

Anyway, when Ronan arrived I finally had a running partner to actually go with and he dragged me out of the flat and we were off through Cardiff on the way to Beut Park. And anyway, we were jogging for about an hour in total. And I was fucking knackered, I had to stop for a breather a couple of times, but I just kept pushing myself a little bit further. I didn't try and over excrete myself too much though, I didn't want to go full out first time. The hardest part was going out the first time. Now I've been out once and know that I can handle it, I've removed the psychological barrier.

All I need to do now is go out again.

Lessons I have learnt from How I Met Your Mother Part Two

2011-02-02T21:41:00.001Z

This is a blog sequel from: Lessons I have learned from How I Met Your Mother Part One

6. The Olive Theory

The Olive Theory is a test for evaluating the compatibility of a relationship, it is a fairly basic one at that. The Olive Theory states that if one person in the couple likes olives and the other one does not, then that couple is a perfect couple. If one likes olives and the other ones doesn't, this makes them a perfect couple, it's all about give and take on the most simplistic level. And if a couple can overcome the Olive Theory, then they truly are meant to be.

7. Hi, Have you met Ted?

Hi Have you met Ted? is the single greatest chat up line in the history of chat up lines. It's simple really, you walk up to a girl and you say to them: "Hi, have you met [Insert Name]?" and you gesture to your friend. This forces the woman into a conversation with your friend. I have tried and tested this chat up line, it works. I used it to help my friend pull some girl in Glam a couple of weeks ago. It's amazing.

8. We Suit Up To Show We Are Different.

When Barney Stinson goes to town, he goes on the pull he wears a suit. He doesn't wear a suit because he's a nob or just because he likes suits (although he really does like suits and who can blame him?) He wears suits, and we suit up to show we are different to those polo shirt, jeans wearing nobs. And also, because you look so different, you get more attention. Just try and suit up, just once. You'll be surprised about how much you like it.

9. The Platinum Rule

The Golden Rule is love thy neighbour... but the Platinum rule is never LOVE thy neighbour! Never date a girl that you live with, near or see on a repeated basis. You might think that you can do it, and that you like her enough to make sure that afterwards you will make sure it's not awkward but it never works the same away. Everyone breaks this rule, but only once.

10. Cheerleader Syndrome

The Cheerleader syndrome is a syndrome that applies to several women who all go out together. If you see a group of women together, and you think you all look bang tidy... Look again. Look at every one of them individually and you will see that they're not all as attractive as you originally thought they were. When single girls all club together, they all look better than they do individually. Beware of this, it's a killer.

That's all till next time. More amazing theories coming next week.

Crash Bandicoot

2011-02-01T23:29:00.001Z

When I was a kid, I had Crash Bandicoot 2. That's the only one I had, and I used to love it. Anyway, Josh bought loads of his old Playstation games back to The Bakery, and suddenly we had all Crash 1, Crash 2, Crash 3 and Crash Bash to play. So we've been storming through them, and you know what? They're proper difficult. About 3 or 4 of us will sit around all tackling Crash and we do really struggle with it.

I mean, you can complete the main story mode on them fairly easily. Well, saying that I am currently stuck on a level on Crash 2 somewhat near the end where you get chased by bees and you have to run away from them before they sting you. Anyway, the hard bit is all the extra curricula stuff you have to do. You have to collect all the boxes on a level to get the gem and on Crash 3, you have to do time trials as well. These can be very difficult!

We finished Spyro 2 and 3, and we had no trouble 100%-ing them. The hardest part was finding the gems and that was just long and tedious. We had no trouble defeating bosses (I always kill the bosses, I like bosses), we had no trouble finding the secrets and we had no trouble getting the eggs. But we were sitting there going, well to be fair... this is a Children's game, so fair enough that isn't hard and we're just flying through it.

However, Crash is insane. It's a totally different ball park. We can get proper frustrated at it. And somehow, I don't quite know how, Heather is the best at Crash. I don't get it at all, she's the worst at every other game we play (She can kind of play COD), but she gets most of the extra stuff on Crash. She's done loads of the time trials and she always tries to get all the boxes (even if she already has the gem for the boxes!).

Thing is, I don't really have the patience for this whole... Collect everything game style. Collect all these things? Why? No. I don't want to. I want to play the game, I don't see why I should spend ages trawling The Neon District to collect blast shards, get all the Gems on Dragon Shores or destroy all the boxes on Dino Might! I just feel like this is a cheap game gimmick to make me play longer. However, Heather will not stop until she has everything. She's unstoppable.

So, raid your attic and find your Playstation. Just try and complete Crash 2, fifteen years later. I challenge you to.

It's Good To Be Good

2011-01-31T21:12:00.000Z

Super Walrusman!

I've been putting a bit of thought into Good vs Evil lately because of a game that Josh Jones has been playing on my PS3, inFamous. It's your typical Superhero game but you have the choice to either try and be a Hero and try and save everyone or be an Anti-Hero and be very selfish and look after your own needs only.

After watching Josh play through being an evil bastard (Killing innocent people, blowing up police stations and generally being a nob) I really missed playing through the game heroically. And it got me thinking that whenever a game gives me this decision that I always chose to be good. This didn't use to be the case, before if you'd ever asked me to chose Good or Evil, I'd have chosen Evil every time. But in the past year or so, I've decided that Good is the way forward.

The thing about being Good (in life and in games) is that it makes you feel Good about yourself. You feel Good, because you are Good. If you're Good in Games: Everyone looks up to you, everyone shouts your praises and everyone plays with little action figurines of yourself! Well, if you're Superman they do. And in life, it's just the same. If you are Good in Life: then people like you, they say nice things about you and everyone plays with little action figures of yourself! Well, if you're Obama they do.

But being Good is hard. You have to make sacrifices. You have to put the Good of the world before the person you love. Who can honestly say if they were given the decision between saving a bus full of people and saving their mother, that they would pick the bus? I honestly cannot say that I could do that. Whatever decision you make in that situation, you're walking away from that with regret that you couldn't save everyone.

But please, if you wake up with Superpowers tomorrow, use them responsibly.

Martin Luther

2011-01-30T21:20:00.000Z

I've decided that I am fed up of ignorance so every so often, I'm going to come on here and I'm actually going to teach you something. Infact yes, this shall be a weekly feature, I very much like this. Once a week on a day I have not yet decided, I shall sign on here and teach you about a part of history. Although I might shake it up and teach you something else. And then we can get special guests to teach you different things, like Ali Wilding teaching you about dissecting animals or Sam Ashcroft teaching you how to perform open heart surgery or Liam Dodd teaching us why all of us gave up on Maths.

So today you're learning about Martin Luther (1483 - 1546) and trust me, I'm going to try and make this as interesting as possible. Martin Luther was a monk turned lecturer (Not to be confused with Martin Luther King) who decided that the Pope was a nob because he wanted everyone to give him money so he could build a new Cathedral. Luther said this was stupid because the Pope was rich and didn't need money. He also got pissed off with a lot of stuff the Catholic Church did.

So he wrote down a list of reasons why the Pope (not to be confused with Mattew Crosse) and the Church was stupid and nailed them to his nearest Church in 1517. And no one cared for ages until they were translated from Latin into German where upon a lot of people read them. Then the Pope got angry and tried to make him apologise but Luther refused. So the Pope excommunicated him and demanded he stand trial for being a nob.

So although he'd probably be killed, Martin Luther went to his trial and didn't say sorry because he was quite stubborn for a monk. It was decided that because Luther was being a nob to the church, then he was a outlaw and that if someone killed him that it would be a good thing and they wouldn't be punished. He then left his trial and hid in a castle until everyone forgot about him. After translating the Bible into German, he founded the Protestant Church. All in a all, he was a right lad for a monk.

And that's your lesson on Martin Luther. Come back next week to further eradicate your ignorance.

Lessons I have learnt from How I Met Your Mother Part One.

2011-01-29T19:43:00.001Z

The hit American tv show, How I Met Your Mother has taught me a hell of a lot about women, dating and life in general. More than I have ever learned from Friends (Which only taught me that Ross and Rachael were on a break) or Scrubs (That if you put olive oil on your lips and and ice cube in your mouth, it doesn't make you a better kisser). So, I have scoured through all the existing episodes of How I Met Your Mother in order to bring you all of the lessons.

1. Crazy Eyes.

Avoid women with crazy eyes. They are crazy, and you will pay for it if you continue to involve yourself with her.

2. The Hot Crazy scale.

If a girl is crazy, they must be equally hot to compensate for this. So if someone is a 9 in terms of craziness, they must be a 9/10 in terms of attractiveness to compensate. If a girl is more crazy then hot, they are not worth your time. However, be careful how you break up with them, it might come back to bite you in the ass.

3. The Lemon Law

This is a rule that within five minutes into the date, you should be able to say whether you have already decided whether or not you want to continue the date. The theory goes that their initial impression is enough to go off whether you want to date them or not. The theory is that if you know that you're going to have a bad date then there is no point continuing the date anymore and that you should just leave it. It's the same as the Lemon Law for used cars.

4. The 'Oh' Moment

This is the theory where when you are dating someone or seeing someone and you discover something about them that makes you not want to date them anymore. Not like, Oh, she cheated on me. I'll give you an example, I was seeing a girl and then I brought up Star Wars and she was like, I've never seen it. I was like, fine, you can watch it with me, you might like it. And then she was like, No I'm proud of the fact I've never seen it, it looks stupid.

5. The Date/Time Continuum

This rule states that you can not plan to do something with your girlfriend which is further in the future than the amount of time that you have been dating. So if I have been seeing a girl for three months, I can't invite her to a Wedding in six months time. However, it would be allowable to invite her to a party in 3 weeks time if I have been dating her for a month.

Stay tuned for some more life lessons from HIMYM.

Skins Season 5

2011-01-28T00:32:00.000Z

So Skins has started yet again. And all I've been hearing from people is that it wouldn't be as good as the first first two seasons. To be fair, the first season was amazing. It was an absolute masterpiece. So good infact, that we've been having a Skins Season 1 marathon all day. And it is pure genius.

So we paused Season 1, and popped downstairs to watch the new Season 5. And all the way through I was thinking, well it's not as hardcore as Season 1. And I was comparing it to Season 1 the whole way through. But then I thought, well that's not really fair is it? Because if you judged it as a stand alone thing, and you had never seen any of the other Seasons, then you'd like it.

Because on it's own it did make me laugh and I did like it. And I'm not saying it's the best thing since sliced bread, but I feel like if I don't stick up for it, who will? I'd just like people to go into watching it with an open mind. I mean, we all said the same thing about Season 3, Episode 1. But most of us watched Season 3 and 4 anyway.

Stick it through. Man Up.

It's Been A While

2011-01-27T17:35:00.000Z

Yeah I know I've not done a blog post in about a month, I am terribly sorry. What can I say? Well, let me at least give a little bit of an explanation. But before I do, can I just say I absolutely hate blog posts like this and feel rather hypocritical writing this. Oh well, whatever.

I made the decision to continue my blog when I came to University, and maybe this was the wrong thing to do. My degree doesn't keep me too busy, but I am rather busy all the time anyway. Although it's mostly just chilling with friends, wandering the streets of Cardiff or hitting the library to find a History book. So I kept forgetting to write them and was rather behind in the months of October and November. Then December was a complete and utter shambles.

Also, the main reason I think it I don't write is because of my Radio show. You see, all the things I would usually come on here and rant about I rant about on the air. And then I don't feel the need to rant about them anymore because I feel like I have already successfully vented all my anger or whatever. I have moved towards a new medium. My radio show became like the upgraded version of my blog. But I don't know if that's still the case.

Another thing was my increased conservatism towards the blog, I felt less inclined to write risky posts that people wouldn't want to hear or that might upset people. When I started this blog, I had no fear in upsetting anyone and since it wasn't linked to Facebook and because no one actually read it back in those days, then it didn't really upset anyone. But I had ideas that I would be comfortable talking about but then a few people might not want to hear about that maybe are unsuitable for the internet.

So these are my excuses. I'm going to attempt to Man Up and write some more posts. I clearly need to take this blog in some sort of new direction. Which direction this will be, I have no idea. I'm not going to make any promises, I have an idea and an aim but I'm not going to share it incase it goes tits up.

So yeah. Watch this space.

2010 Resolutions - A Review

2010-12-30T23:11:00.000Z

So at the start of last year, I made three New Years Resolutions. I'm going to review how closely that I've stuck to these resolutions.

My first New Years Resolution (from hereby to be referred to as a NYR) was to quit smoking. And five minutes before the start of 2010, I finished what would was hoped to be my final cigarette. And then I actually stuck to it for a while. I didn't smoke until the 21st of January and medically it takes 21 days to quit the habit apparently, so I must have been quite close. But during the year and definelty since arriving at University I've been cutting down loads until I eventually decided to quit fully a couple weeks ago. I haven't smoked in a while and I don't care. It became just a thing I did when I was drunk anyway. So I've mostly done this one.

My second NYR was to get fit. And when college recommenced in January 2010, I through myself into Rugby. I started playing again and I would say I made a definite improvement to my fitness. I then continued to do a bit of exercise throughout the year. I think that I am more fit than I was at this point last year. I'm going to test this at some point, but I would say this one was completed.

My third and final NYR was to not stop blogging. This one struggled and it's the only one I thought I would keep. After my radio started I found it hard to have anything to blog about as everything I wanted to blog about I had already ranted about on the radio, taking away the passion from any blogs I was doing previously. Although I would argue that I am still blogging, just not with anything like the frequency I was doing before. Maybe this should factor into 2011's resolutions.

So yeah, I actually did my New Years Resolutions. So fuck you all.

Adios

Mate, What You Selling?

2010-12-15T14:58:00.000Z

This is an actual conversation which happened yesterday on the main highstreet in Cardiff. I was walking along to KFC and happened to see an elderly guy handing out leaflets.

Me: Mate, what you selling?

Old Man: Jesus Christ into your life.

Me: No thanks mate, I'm an atheist.

Old Guy: Then you're going to burn in hell.

Me: God doesn't exist... Look around? Can you see him? I can't.

Old Guy: He's all around you, you need to let Jesus Christ into your life.

At this point I entered KFC and returned around five minutes later. When I stepped outside he was having a go at a kid riding a bike claiming the kid was evidence of "hell on earth"

Me: Mate, you're wasting your life. No one is listening, go home.

Old Man: You're going to get a shock you know!

Me: What you talking about?

Old Man: When you burn in hell forever, you're not going to like it.

Me: There's no such thing as hell, why not live this life to the full? I'm a nice guy, I'm not a bad person. I do the right thing, shouldn't that be enough?

Old Man: You will burn in hell forever, unless you repent.

Me: Whatever mate.

I have no problem with religion, just try not to shove it down my throat, yeah? I am an atheist and there's nothing I can see, nothing that can be said, nothing that I can experience that will make me change my opinion on that. So please, leave me and the rest of the general public alone.

Adios x

My Bubbles

2010-12-12T17:17:00.000Z

Other people were dancing and drinking, I was blowing bubbles.

In Defence of Video Games

2010-12-08T00:43:00.000Z

After watching Panorama slandering games, I do feel like I need to interject at this point and say something. Panorama has now for long enough been at war against practically everything worth going to war about and every week tremble in fear at the brand new threat that has arrived at our door and why we should be so worried and go and cry in a corner. It pretends to be balanced, then after very briefly considering the opposite side of the argument, dismisses it as rubbish. I think the thing that irritates me the most is how excessively ignorant the media are about gaming. They haven't a clue what it's really like.

The latest episode of Panorama attacks video games for being too addictive. Panorama picks extreme case studies where people claim they have become addictive to video games and it has ruined their lives. The person appears, says how much they used to play, how it ruined their lives and then the program leaves them. No benefits are ever listed and no background information are given on these 'victims'. Do they have addictive personalities? Was something in their life driving them towards video games? Do they have a history of violence? None of these issues are addressed and Panorama paints a very bad image of gaming while sauntering around pretending to be two sided.

So, I'm going to stand up and defend video games. Gaming is confidence building. People associate gaming with nerds and nerds to be quiet reserved people, but gaming literally is a massive confidence builder. Imagine this, in life you are an average Joe, and you don't have a lot going for you. You go to school and you only have a few friends, no one really cares about you. You come home and suddenly you can enter a world where it is up to you and you alone to save an entire planet. Everything resolves around you and you're actions. You are literally the centre of the universe. The amount of self belief that inspires to think you are so important in the world is unreal, leading to confidence growth.

That is me, don't I look amazingly confident? Would you believe I spent more than 12 hours a day in my youth playing video games? No, of course not.

Community. Gaming isn't a single person activity. It has a massive communal following. There are loads of magazines you have and each and every one of these will come with their accompanying forum. And for every forum that is based around a magazine or website, there are two or three self-standing forums. Not only this but it's a great conversation topic. I've literally gained friends over this and talked to Randomers about this. People who I literally only had one thing in common and that was that we both played City of Heroes, for example. So any and all claims that Gaming is unsociable is pure crap.

Panorama goes on to claim that Games use a very complicated psychological theory to keep us playing called... rewards. Such a complicated thing, I can't believe I've been falling for such a trick all these years. Of course people are going to keep playing because their is a reward system in place. This is much similar to the way that films feed our curiosity by withholding information from us. It's just the way that it keeps us playing, this isn't vindictive and gaming companies are hardly evil and trying to get us to kill ourselves from over playing. If anything they're working a tight rope with all the media attack on them.

Finally, the extent to which they bang on about how dangerously addictive video games are is ridiculous. They find the stupidest people who play for ridiculous amounts of hours because they have nothing better to do and claim that the video game is the problem and not the person. If your removed the games from their life, they would do something else instead, like collect Warhammer or stamps. I bought Black Ops three weeks ago and literally have only played online for about 5 or 6 hours.

There are a thousand and one more reasons why Video Games do more benefit than good. I just wish people weren't so ignorant.

Dan Rowling

Snowless

2010-12-02T17:04:00.000Z

You know how painful it is to log into facebook and see every one cheering and whooping about how much snow they have. People acting like they've never seen snow before and others complaining like they see it every day of their lives. Countless people uploading snow pictures: snowmen, back gardens and snow angels. What is most painful, is that I have no snow.

I live in Cardiff and because we're right next to the sea, the air is full of salt. That's what all the Cardiffians claim anyway. Although, the amount of snow in the valleys is pathetic also. Compare this to the seven inches of snow they have back in Derby and you can understand that one would get rather jealous. It snows occasionally here but not much. Like really light snow and it never settles.

I might just go home for the weekend just for the snow.

Adios x

Must Read Books

2010-11-28T21:12:00.000Z

The BBC states that these are 100 must read books. I've checked the list and I've only read 13 of them. I want to read more, but I am only 18 so I hope to read a lot more of them in my lifetime. I think I'm going to read Catcher in the Rye next.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austin
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
5 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - william makepeace thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

How many have you read?

South African Englishman

2010-11-27T17:02:00.000Z

I was stood in the pub waiting for the England vs South Africa game to begin. And the national anthems were starting. The South African one first. And I was stood there in my Springbok top next to Ben, in his England top thinking... I don't even know the words to this.

Then the English national anthem came on and I belted it out, like at true Englishman. And I was stood there thinking... Am I supporting the right team? I was born in Cape Town but moved to England at an early age. Although I have lived most of my life in England, I've still held onto supporting South Africa in some sports. Although recently, the only sport I support them in is Rugby.

But nationality is just a label. I don't identify myself as English. If you say, Dan tell me about yourself. Nowhere in my summary of myself is the fact that I'm English going to work it's way in. That's not to say that I'm not proud of it, it's just not one of my defining features. Does it really matter if where I'm from or where I live? Surely, I should have the liberty to support whoever I want.

And let's be honest, Springboks are the better team.

Adios xx

Hangover Cure

2010-11-26T17:14:00.000Z

I woke up this morning, knowing full well I had 12 hours to do an assignment I hadn't started. I also had a massive hangover. I had drank about 3 pints of water the night before but clearly it wasn't enough. I then proceeded to drink about 6 more pints of water. And ate about three meals worth of food for breakfast. After returning to bed for an hour, I was bright as rain. I absolutely bossed it and got rid of a hangover which I would usually have all day.

That's what I call skills.

Note To Self

2010-11-26T02:16:00.001Z

Don't get drunk the night before you have an important essay due. Especially if you haven't done it.

X Factor

2010-11-23T18:10:00.000Z

I'm not a big fan of X Factor. That is to say, I have no interest in the show whatsoever and I really cannot stand it. Normally when you don't like a show, you can just not watch it and then you don't have to deal with it. X Factor is different. It's absolutely everywhere.

X Factor is not news. I do not want to read about it every day in the paper. That's not newsworthy stuff. Why are they printing stuff that happened in the show in the paper? They're treating it like it's a proper important thing. On Monday, on the front page of the Metro was a story about X Factor. How could the news of the day be so bad that X Factor made it to the front page?

Not only that but lest I go anywhere near facebook on a Sunday night. I see all these statuses just complaining about X Factor. Whenever I hear any one talking about it, I only ever hear people complaining about singers or the judges. I never ever hear people go: "Oh did you hear *insert names* song? It was truly incredible." Except last year when Susan Boyle was on it. Or was it Britain's Got Talent? I really don't know.

I'm just praying that it's not the Christmas Number One again.

Adios xx

Facebook is not the place for Arguments

2010-11-21T11:20:00.003Z

I do not wish to see stupid immature people arguing on my news feed. This is a private matter and shouldn't be paraded for the world to see. Who do you think you are? No one cares about your stupid petty arguments. You are acting like Jordan and Peter Andre. I don't want to hear about all the times you've cheated on each other. I don't want to hear about your engagement. And I certainly don't want to hear about how much you apparantly love each other.

Please stop, you're only embarrassing yourself.

Fucking Fucking

2010-11-20T00:16:00.000Z

I have decided that because the word "Fuck" is used too much, people have become desensitized to it. It now has half the meaning.

Therefore, everyone should say it twice instead of once. That way the natural balance is restored.

Last Night's Kebab

2010-11-19T12:33:00.000Z

Is it wrong that I saved the kebab I could not finish last night, put it in the fridge and then this morning, heated it up and ate it for breakfast?

It was actually really nice, to be fair.

How To Deal With An Angry Welshman

2010-11-18T07:55:00.000Z

This is genuine advice I received from a man in the smoking area of Revs. Unlike most drunken theories, it makes sense somewhat. Although, I doubt you'd see me trying it and it's rather risky. It goes somewhat like this:

Imagine you're dancing with a girl and chatting. Things are going well. Suddenly a guy shows up and claims to be her boyfriend. Suddenly you have an angry Welshman and you have to deal with him. The advice was this: When he starts kicking off and shouting at you, you look him in the eye and say something like: "Fuck off, I was only dancing with her I didn't know" or if it's a similar situation give whatever your excuse.

Now the theory is that all Welshmen just put on this front but where push comes to shove, they'll back down. So apparently, 90% of Welshmen will now back down. However, if they still don't back down, all you've got to do is pump out your chest, press your forehead against his and start some generic fight talk. Then the chances are they will back down.

If they don't, run because he's fucking mental.

Adios xx

Last Night

2010-11-17T11:02:00.000Z

Last night I learned that a simple action such as turning right instead of left can land you in a lot of trouble and also, on a related note, the reason there was a lot of women in the Men's toilets was because it was infact the Woman's toilets.

The Dan Elves

2010-11-16T16:24:00.001Z

What To Do?

2010-11-12T00:35:00.000Z

I'm not sure what exactly it is these days which is leading me to not blog on some days. Well, I have a rough idea, it's either lack of ideas or laziness.

I have tried in the past to write a list of blog ideas (this is something I tried to write as soon as I started - I still have that list) but I found that it was no replacement for blogs that are thought up on the spot, as they have much more passion to them and tend to be therefore a lot more interesting to read. Not to mention they are a hell of a lot easier to write.

However, there isn't too much I can do about laziness. I can try and step it up a notch. In the past, I've never really needed any kind of reminders to do blogs. Occasionally I would forget and immediately make up for it the next day but recently this isn't becoming the case. And then I have three days of blogs on my hands. I miss a day and then the next day I can't blog and before you know I have to write three blogs and I have no idea what to write.

I was thinking about putting an end to it all but then I thought... Why put an end to the entire blog? If anything I should just put an end to the quota of one blog a day. That would mean that I am blogging because I want to blog and there would be no uninteresting posts knocking around that no one really cares about. Only worry there is that the blog would just generally go to shit.

I think I just need to man up to be honest.

Adios x

Goodbye Modern Warfare 2

2010-11-08T23:45:00.000Z

Before Modern Warfare 2 (More commonly known as COD6), there was COD5 (also know as Call Of Duty: World At War). Since the release of Cod6, I must have only played Cod5 online about three times. With Cod7 coming out in less than an hour, Cod6 is going to gather dust on our shelves.

So, it's time for us to say goodbye to Cod6. When Modern Warfare 2 first came along, I was skeptical. I was never a big fan of COD4, so I didn't care much for it's sequel. However, when it came along I had a go and was mindblown by it. Because I wasn't attracted by the fact that it was set in the modern day, being a history boffin I'm clearly going to love that the Call Of Duties that are set in the past.

I am finally glad to say goodbye to some of the worse things on COD6. Fuck you akimbo shotguns. Seriously, fuck you Spec Ops, no body wanted you. You were essentially Infinity Ward's way of saying: "Yeah, we can't be arsed to make the modern day equivalent of Nazi Zombies, have this instead." And fuck you Wasteland, no one liked the fact that you were sniper heaven.

I have ordered COD7 and literally can't wait to play it when I get back to Cardiff next week.

Adios xx

Branded Clothing

2010-11-07T15:45:00.000Z

I don't tend to wear clothes with the name of the clothing bran plastered all over them. I actually don't see the point in it at all.

Why would you want to spend a ridiculous amount on clothing from Hollister when you can buy a nice shirt from Primark, M&S or H&M etc and it's just as good looking? If I'm dressing casually, I'll just throw on a t shirt with a hoody over the top. I don't see the point in walking around the town rubbing everyone's nose in the fact that I have money to waste.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not leading a crusade against anyone who wants to say something with their clothing. I wear my Springbok jersey to show my allegiance to the South Africa Rugby team. I wear tops such as Iron Maiden to show that I like them - it's also a great conversation starter. What you wear says a lot about someone. And this can be a good thing but also a bad thing.

Given this, I don't see why people would walk around wearing these clothes. Why would you want to advertise the fact you spent a ridiculous amount of money on a single piece of clothing? You're not paying for quality at all, you're paying for the name. You're paying to be part of a group. You're essentially trying to buy a specific image.

The only thing I think when I see someone wearing a £99 hoody from Jack Wills is: "Mate, you got jacked."

Adios xx

Sexiest Photo Ever

2010-11-06T19:12:00.000Z

Seriously, no man has ever looked so sexy in a sombrero before. That's Vaughan btw.

Hablo Espanol Un Poco

2010-11-04T22:33:00.000Z

Hola. Hablo Espanol un poco. Mi espanol es muy mal tbh. Vivo con un persona de Espana. Me encanta espanol. Hablamos espanol todo las dias.

Yeah, my spanish isn't amazing. I do love speaking it though. I'm not going to do my whole blog in Spanish because I am simply not that good and that would take absolutely time. Basically for you uneducated people, I just said that I speak of Spanish and I live with a Spanish flatmate, so I speak Spanish every day. Well, I say I speak Spanish, I speak very little Spanish.

I did Spanish for five years actually at school, you wouldn't be able to tell. I did it for GCSE but forgot practically everything apart from: "Queiro un bocadillo de jamon y dos cerbezas por favor" which is useful if I'm in Spain and desperately in need of beer and a ham sandwich but not good if I'm trying to engage in small talk. I actually got a B in Spanish GCSE (I was lucky).

I'm remembering more and more every day I hang out with Leticia. We went through the colours today and I was surprised to learn that I actually remember them all. I couldn't quite believe it to be honest. Amarillo, azul, blanco, negro, rosa, verde. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Leticia teaches me more Spanish every day and I remember some too. It's great.

I'll be fluent before the end of the year.

Adios x

2010-11-01T22:50:00.000Z

The following is a conversation between Heather and a friend of hers about me.

Heather: I live with that guy!
Her Friend: What, the ginger one?

Book reviews

2010-11-01T19:57:00.000Z

Hey it's Charlie Pidcock

Dan has just said "it's all ready for you, just wack one out." Not sure he chooses his words very well. Now today I realized a lot. I won't go into the private stuff but I realized a lot of differences between Dan and I. Dan is the kind of person who is comfortable putting everything personal about himself out there.
I on the other hand, even though I do put a lot out there and am very honest and open, I know when to keep things quiet haha. It's not a bad thing of Dans necessarily... it's funny when Dan does things but can also lead to some awkward moments and unneeded drama.

Dan just said to me "You know what I like about you Charlie, I can ask you to do a guest blog and you're not sat there thinking, wasting time, you just get on with it. Start wacking away!" Oh dear.... I think he's rather tired and discombobulated. (Yes that is a word, use a dictionary) I suppose the last few months I have realized how good I have it, and how bad a lot of other people have it. It doesn't mean that I haven't still sometimes taken things for granted, and I think we all have to realise how well off we have it before comparing our lives to other people we know nothing about.

Everyone say's don't judge a book by it's cover, and I am sure everyone is sick to death of that saying, but it's true. You meet someone in the street and they're rude to you or they barge through, or they say something which you don't agree with. Don't shoot them down or write them off, you have no idea where that statement came from. You have no idea about that persons life or experience. And thats what I wanted to talk about this blog. I try to never judge or condemn someone for something, because at the end of the day you have probabaly done something equaly as bad, so I never try and judge others.

I know I have made mistakes, everyone does, but what makes you the better person, is learning from mistakes, and learning from what you did in the past that you don't want to repeat again.
And I understand yeah sometimes people slip back into old ways, but it's just a phase they go through, as long as they have strong friends and a good support group behind them they can make it past things.
Today I did a radio show with Dan and it was brilliant, I loved it, and it was nice to see him again. The studio was kinda small, but it's all we needed for the show. I wish I could have recorded it, but alas we could not.
Anyway I am gonna stop now, Dan is pwning some monsters on FF13,

Night all!

Charlie Pidcock

Best Halloween Costumes

2010-11-01T10:02:00.000Z

I've seen a lot of Halloween costumes this weekend. These above, I think are absolutely genius as they appeal to my inner geek. I really wanted to go as The Doctor but elected not to in the end. I went out as Shaun of the Dead, it looked pretty good I think. I was in Oceana last night and saw a variety of costumes: some really generic, some absolutely legendary and a few that were just plain weird.

I saw an Asian Superman. Wolverine was knocking around. Then there was like loads of Batmans and loads of Jokers. Surprisingly I didn't see one Spiderman. I did however see a lot of women dressing up as men. Like not generic men but like actual people. I saw a woman dressed as Charlie Chaplin. I would not kiss her at all, she had a fake moustache, how weird would that be?

There were some absolutely legendary ones. I wanted to play a game where you go up to people and make a joke about their costume but Ronan was too drunk to play with me. Anyway, I saw Samuel Jackson and John Travolta from Pulp Fiction. I walked straight up to Samuel Jackson and asked him if he's ever tried a great Wahoona burger.

Then a few were just plain weird. There was a guy dressed up as a Whoopie Cushion. That was odd but I couldn't resist running up and giving him a squeeze. There was just a normal guy dressed in normal clothes but he had a sign on him saying "I am a peadophile." That was just plain odd. There was a guy who looked like R-One-Oh-Seven from Timesplitters although he had no idea that he had accidentally dressed up like him.

On the whole, I was very impressed with the amount of effort people made.

Adios xx

The Metro

2010-10-31T19:50:00.000Z

Before I came to Cardiff, I didn't tend to follow the news much. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I was uninterested in current affairs and I certainly watched it during things like the election but I just didn't seem to be able to stick at watching it.

However, since I got here I have taken to reading the Metro every day. This is partly because it takes me half an hour to read the Metro, which is also the same amount of time it takes me to catch the train up to my campus. Which is actually perfect for me because I have half an hour to kill and if I didn't do that, I would just stare out the window or eavesdrop with other people.

Not only that but I now read my horoscope every day. Not because I believe in that kind of shit, but because I find it amusing. They do actually offer genuinely good advice generally. I actually just love to laugh at how shit it is. I always say to myself that I am going to follow the advice of the horoscope but always forget what it said after a couple of minutes.

What I think is the best is the texts section, that always makes me laugh. They have discussions about things and people will text in the next day in response to the previous days texts, if that makes any sense at all. So there was a conversation about whether or not Goths ride bikes and which is the best ticket gate at Cardiff Central Station.

You should totally start reading it if you can.

Adios x

Train Travel

2010-10-31T19:11:00.000Z

I'm currently living in Cardiff. Which is good. However, my University is in Trefforest, which is half an hour away on the train, so I have a lot of time on the train.

A lot of people complain that they would rather live on campus but to be honest, I like catching the train every day. Also, it's not that much different to be at home because at home I would spend twenty minutes in the car, so I don't see it much different to that to be honest. Also, by living here I am a stone's throw away from the city.

When the train arrives, every one rushed to the doors. And the first to arrive at the door has the very important task of opening the door. Every one stands there and stares at the open door button, wishing it to open. And it is the responsibility of the closest person to open the door as soon as the button lights up. It's a very important task. You shouldn't be too casual or too eager to open it. If you stand there and repeatedly press it before it has lit up, it broadcasts to the world how little you know about the train.

One thing I have noticed about Cardiff Central (the train station 3minutes away from my accommodation and the main train station of the city), it has no platform five. There is a platform 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 and 7. My theory on this is that the welsh for Five is Pimp. And as every single announcement is repeated in welsh, they don't want to say pimp (I just googled it, the real reason is a lot less interesting)

When I ride the train, I always sit in the front carriage, that way you get there quicker.

Adios xx

Doctor Who Live

2010-10-31T11:53:00.000Z

A few months back, I found out that Doctor Who are touring. And by touring, I meant they are doing a stage show. And I wrote on Fleur's wall saying something along the lines of: "I can't believe you are in Thailand and not in the UK, I really want to see this show!"

Fleur's sister, Chantelle then commented on the link saying: "I'll come watch it with you!!" And thought she was joking but turned out she was serious. So I was like, yeah we should so totally go and do that. So fast forward to Friday and she turned up in Cardiff to come and see it. 3pm yesterday we were seating around thousands of children and their parents, waiting for the show to start.

It was truly amazing. I can't even describe how jizzworthy it was. Basically, it was like an episode of Doctor Who but performed on stage to a live audience. The show concentrated on breaking the fourth wall between the audience and the stage. They acknowledged that we were in the auditorium and throughout they were like, please don't panic I have everything under control.

The Doctor (Matt Smith) appeared on screen several times doing pre-recorded things with pauses for interactions. Which wasn't as good as him actually being there, but it was still amazingly impressive. It was really clever how it was all done to be honest. Murray Gold (the official band of Doctor Who) was there performing all the songs. That was very impressive, I must say.

The most amazing part of it all? The Monsters. There was about 15 actors and actresses playing all the monsters. There were loads of them: Scarecrows from Season 3, Cyberman, Darleks, Rhinoes from the Shadow Proclamation, Homo Repitila, The Smilers and Weeping Angels. That's all I can remember off the top of my head. But the most impressive thing by far: The Flying Darlek. It actually flew. It was incredible.

I was literally speechless the entirely time, it was so cleverly done.

Adios xx

Freshers 2

2010-10-31T11:25:00.001Z

This week I've been out nearly as much as I went out in Freshers. For no particular reason either. I spoke to someone back home on Monday and they were surprised how little I was going out. So I was like, well maybe I should make more of an effort!

So shortly after that Heather came in and announced that every one had spontaneously decided to go to Oceana (the biggest club in Cardiff, 10 bars spread over eight rooms). However, we left really late and by the time we got there, there was massive queue and we didn't have tickets. So we ended up in Glam. Which is just next door, and it like the Blue Note of Cardiff. So began my week of getting quite drunk.

Thursday and Friday I went out in succession. Revs and Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), both of which were amazing. I managed to get about six free shots in Revs in a single night. And some woman stole my tie and I had to hunt her down and find it (I got it back, no worries). Clwb Ifor Bach is a nice little club, quite small but it's like the alternate club which doesn't like to play the mainstream stuff. We're in there too much tbh.

And today is Halloween, so of course we're going out and we're dressing up. I am going as Shaun of the Dead. I was meant to do it in Freshers, but didn't do it in the end so I intend to make up for it tonight. I'm going to proper go for it: White shirt, red tie, blood stains, suit trousers, belt, shoes. I can't find a name tag. I've been growing a goatee for this exact occasion too.

It's been a crazy week.

Adios xx

Hook, line and sinker

2010-10-29T18:33:00.000+01:00

The following is a conversation between myself and Hollie Barton over facebook chat.

[You]
17:51
Jah sure
Chantelle is arriving in like 90mins
[Hollie Barton]
17:52
ok.. not going to lie, i don't remember who that is :):)
[You]
17:52
Fleur's sister :):)
[Hollie Barton]
17:52
???????
[You]
17:52
BASICALLY
I'm seeing Fleur's sister
[Hollie Barton]
17:53
SHIT!!!
as if as if as if!!!!
[You]
17:53
I've been keeping it secret
for a while
Sorry for not telling you
You understand right?
[Hollie Barton]
17:55
right... i'm going to dinner
i was going to say i'll talk to you later butclearly that won't be happen
[Hollie Barton]
17:56
WHAT THE EFF THOUGH DAN!!!???
[You]
17:56
LOL JK
She's coming to watch Doctor Who with me
It's a live show.
I was bantering
[Hollie Barton]
17:56
you sly devil you :P:P
[You]
17:56
And you fell for it
Hook line and sinker
:D:D
[Hollie Barton]
17:56
oh...
you should be worried that i believed you
[You]
17:56
Sorry Barters
I feel mean
might not post this to my blog afterall

Well, that didn't happen.

Adios x

In other news:

o Chantelle will be here in an hour.

Daddy's Home

2010-10-27T23:18:00.000+01:00

Today, I finished at 10 and came straight home on the train. Since then I've been sitting at my desk trying to work (admittedly I am easily distracted - for example, I'm writing a blog rather than working). However, in the brief pockets of work I am doing, I am rather enjoying it.

Dan, you crazy baffoon, did you just admit to liking doing a thousand word essay? Well, actually in a sense yes. History is actually genuinely interesting to me (more about that in another blog). So I actually love writing up this stuff. And now all the work I have to do I have to add references and bibliography (something I was only introduced to during A Level Coursework), it makes me feel like a proper historian.

Today I went out to the shop and bought highlighters. One of the most important tools a historian can own. I can now read through my books and highlight at leisure, ensuring that I miss noting and get all the information I require. And then when I leaf through the book again, it's covered all in highlighter and I just get a bit of a sense of pride over it all.

God, I'm such a history boffin.

Adios xx

Back To The Future: The Game

2010-10-26T22:52:00.001+01:00

This is the best news ever! Officially, I am literally so excited there I don't know what to say! As a massive Back To The Future fanboy, I can officially say that this is the most exciting thing since I found out it's been re-releasing in the movie (which was officially the most exciting thing since I found out it was being released on Blu-ray)

The game is set 6 months after the events of Back To The Future 3! Which means it is all a new story instead of just the repeated events of the first three films. Which is amazing. Also, Christopher Lloyd (Dr Emmet Brown) is voicing his character! It looks really cartoony and will be in the adventure format.

Basically the plot is this: Six months after Back To The Future 3, Marty is wandering around living his life without his best friend, Doc Brown. And then, the DeLorean reappears and Marty has to go back in time to find Doc Brown who has become stranded somewhere in the past and save him. Pretty standard plot to be fair. Also, for every pre-order bought $1 is being donated to Michael J Fox's Parkinson's research.

Here's the link

Adios x

Film Director

2010-10-26T20:00:00.000+01:00

I've been doing some thinking recently and I've decided that I could become a film director. You're probably laughing, but it's true. I could be. Here's why.

Casting. The amount of times that I've sat through a film and thought to myself: Jack Black would be so much better suited to the role. And I just look and think all these people are proper unsuited to the role, and that there is another actor who could much better play that role. It just really annoys me when I see people that have been miscast.

I have experience in directing as well. I sat in on a rehearsal on Thursday and I was watching this woman direct the people and I was just sat there thinking... I'd change that, that and that. He needs to stand still when he's speaking, he's making me feel seasick. She needs to speak up, she needs to speak slower. All those kind of things. I know I was joining an ameuter dramatics group, but Christ...

I'm very critical when it comes to film. Whenever I watch a thing, I've always got something to say about it. A thing that could have been improved, a way it could be better. A scene that doesn't make any sense and doesn't need to be in the film. After watching The Other Guys, I couldn't think of anything. It was so wank, that I'd change every single thing about that film. Except Samuel Jackson, cus he's legendary.

Maybe I'm just arrogant, but I seriously think I could do a better job than a lot of directors around currently.

Adios x

Laziness and Lifts

2010-10-24T23:07:00.000+01:00

Lifts didn't used to be a common facility in my life. To be honest, most people will agree that lifts aren't something that are used often. We know they exist, but mostly they exist for the use of handicapped people. The most common use of lifts I can think of is in hotels.

Anyway, in my block of my accommodation (The Bakery), there is a lift. As there are six floors in this block. I live in the fourth floor. Which means on the rare occasion which I do climb the stairs, I am out of breath by the time I get to my floor. The thing is, right outside my room is the lift. If I lived on the other side of the building and when I came out I saw the stairs, I am convinced that I would use the stairs everyday.

I realised recently that the only exercise I get is... Well, that's just the thing really. I don't really get any at all. Cardiff is entirely flat and there are no hills here. I don't climb the stairs in my flat. My campus is on a massive hill, but most of my lectures are at the bottom. I never really bother going to the SU because it's practically at the top of the hill.

I should really join the gym.

Adios xx

Barbra Steisand

2010-10-23T20:52:00.000+01:00

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: Barbra Streisand

Stranger: hey

Stranger: asl?

You: 49 USA F

You: I'm Barbra Streisand

Stranger: nice

Stranger: im 18 male

Stranger: usa

You: I'm v

Stranger: you are mature?

You: Barbra Streisand

Stranger: MILF>?

You: I'm Barbra Streisand

You: I'm in Meet The Fockers

You: The Mum.

Stranger: o yeah

Stranger: you are horny?

You: I'm Barbra Streisand

Stranger: so

Stranger: you are horny or not?

You: I'm Barbra Streisand.

You: oooeee oeee eeoeoeoeoeoe

You: Barbra Streisand

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Turned In

2010-10-22T19:06:00.000+01:00

I've just completed and handed in my first assignment for my History degree. And let me tell you, it's a huge weight of my shoulders. I don't know what to do with myself now.

I don't know why I procrastinated it for so long. I never meant to. All I had to do was write a 400 word report on one career that a History degree gives you access to. In the end I chose an easy one and chose to write a report on how to become an Archivist. Someone who looks at archives and maintains them etc. So I had the whole day to do this and I had to hand it in before 9pm. I only handed it in about 5minutes ago at 18:50.

I'm not going to procrastinate my next piece of work though. I have to do a 1000 word review on a section of a book for my Atlantic and Making of the Modern World module. It's going to be quite beasty as I have to do a lot of reading around the subject. So I'm going to get on the case doing the reading this weekend and then I'm going to whack out the essay during next week and get it in for the Friday.

Something I want to get out of the habit of though is Procrastination. Procrastination is an absolute bitch and can cause serious disasters. Procrastination is all well and good when you're doing GCSEs and to a certain extent, A Levels. But there's no point doing it at University. Although the first year cares for very little, you want to have a good year regardless, and set up a pattern you can continue into your second and third year.

Remember, Proactive not Reactive.

Adios xx

My Week

2010-10-21T23:56:00.001+01:00

My week is actually amazing. I mean like in terms of lectures and seminars and everything. Most people have a lot of hours of lectures and seminars. I know someone who does a degree in Geology who is in for 21 hours a week. However, I'm doing a History degree so I'm barely ever in University. Here's my week:

Monday: People and Nation 11am - 1pm.

Tuesday: American Studies 3pm to 5pm

Wednesday: Atlantic And Making Of The Modern World seminar 9am - 10am

Thursday: Atlantic 9am - 10am, People and Nations 10am - 11am, Introduction to History 11am - 12, Introduction to History seminar 2pm - 3pm

And that's my week. I have every Friday off meaning I have a three day weekend, every single weekend. Which is very useful. And also, all of my deadlines are at 9pm on Fridays so therefore if I am ever behind on work I literally have all day to finish the work (but hopefully that'll never happen). So yeah, all your sixth form students and all of you on harder courses than me, be jealous.

Be very jealous.

Adios xx

The Homeless

2010-10-20T19:20:00.000+01:00

I would say that I am a pretty charitable person. I have been known to reach into my pocket on more than one occasion and donate something where appropriate. That's just the way I was brought up, to be charitable and give to those less fortunate than myself. And I do very well. Back when I had money I would occasionally buy the Big Issue or generally give to the homeless. I gave quite a bit to them during Freshers week when I got here too.

I have no issue with them, at all. However, today I was absolutely outraged at the cheek of one of them. Some guy walked up to me on the street and said this:

Homeless Guy: "You got 40, 50p spare?"
Me: "Sorry I don't, I don't have any change on me."

Which was truth, I don't tend to carry change around any more because I know if I have change on me I will end up spending it on something I don't need. I even patted myself down to show to this guy that I literally had no money on me. I wasn't trying to con him, I probably would have given him some if I had money on me. This is where the conversations should have ended. However, then this happened:

Homeless Guy: "Sure... How about a tenner? Or twenty quid?"
Me: "Sorry mate, I don't even have that myself, I'm a student."
Homeless Guy: "Yeah whatever"

What an absolute twat. I was completely and utterly outraged. What right does he have to any of my money at all? If I choose to be charitable (and if I can afford to), then he should be grateful. There is an option in this, I can say no if I want to. He acted as though he deserved that money off me. Like somehow, my money was his god-given right. Well guess what? It isn't.

Fucking Prick.

Adios x

Cardiffian Weather

2010-10-20T10:59:00.001+01:00

The weather in the UK is generally rather grim. We all mumble and moan about how much we hate it. When I was at home I was always complaining about it. But I just shoved a few layers on and manned up and everything was fine.

Cardiffian weather is somewhat a little warmer than Derby weather. If just by a degree or two but also, I've noticed there's definitely not as much wind down here. I'm not sure why but I've barely encountered any since I got here where as back home it was a regular occurrence. Maybe it's something to do with all the massive hills they have in Wales. Or something like that anyway.

The thing about Cardiffian weather is that it's very fickle. It never knows what to do and it is constantly changing. In Derby, if it looks shit in the morning, it's going to stay shit. If it's cold first thing in the morning, it may heat up by a few degrees by largely it'll stay the same. Here however, it's a different story.

This year I blogged about The Layer Conundrum ( Which is not when you're a princess and you need to find Obi-Wan Kenobi because he's your only hope). This is even worse now. Because even if I guess the right amount of layers to wear (either 2 or 3, sometimes it even gets cold enough to add my winter jacket to make 4), then later on in the day the weather will change and I'll be too hot or cold.

Yesterday I went out shopping with a hoody which was zipped up and was a bit chilly. By an hour later when I went to Uni, I was warm in my hoody. When I got back from Uni, it was chucking it down with rain and I had my hoody zipped and my hood up to avoid getting wet. It is just so temperamental, it's insane.

I mean at least in Derby it's consistently shit weather.

Adios xx

Vegetarian Bolognese

2010-10-19T21:23:00.000+01:00

Josh, Ronan, Milo, Mark, Me.

I've decided that I will attempt to make a new meal every week. Or at least attempt to learn a new culinary thing that I couldn't do before. So last week, I attempted to make the most very basic of dishes: Spaghetti Bolognese.

But thing is, Spaghetti Bolognese has beef in it. Minced beef. And this is something that Heather and Matias, being vegetarians will absolutely refuse to eat. So instead I had to substitute that for Beef Quorn. I was running around LIDL, with no idea what exactly went into a Bolognese. I was ringing up everyone I could think of. I tried my Mum, my Stepdad and even my sister, Emily (who mastered the recipe a week before me despite being four years younger than me).

Matias eventually told me what I needed and I managed to grab all the ingredients for about 6 of us for about £6. And I banged it all in a pot. It was actually surprisingly easy. Fry onions, add mince, add everything else and then you just leave it for a while. Just let it cook. No wonder everyone knows how to cook it.

If you don't know how to do it, it's really easy. Give it a go :)

Adios xx

Radio Show

2010-10-19T13:51:00.000+01:00

"Danrus"

I'm unsure how many of you know this (I'm sure a lot of people do know this now I absolutely spammed Facebook about it yesterday) but I am now hosting a radio show for the Student Radio, Tequila Radio. My show is on every other Monday, 3pm - 5pm. I did my show yesterday, so my next show will be on the 1st November.

So yeah, I was super nervous before my show. I was absolutely shitting myself. I rocked up and there were two people in there finishing off their show. And they were like: "Some guy has arrived, and he's wearing a Springboks top!" And they let me in and the woman arrived who was going to show me all around - which she did. And showed me the basics - I picked it all up in about 5minutes, it's pretty simple when it comes down to it.

I could only play the music that was on the system. So I had to go through the playlist desperately searching for decent songs/songs I liked. Anyway, I did ok. I played some absolutely classics. I didn't play much new stuff as there was barely any new stuff on the system. I also played people's requests if I could find them (I most often couldn't). The thing is, you can also text into the studio and I'll read out your message and also I'm online as I am on air.

I was absolutely amazing and I can't wait for 13 days time when I get to do it all over again avec my mystery guest - whose identity is not being revealed until... well, I bet he/she will it slip or want to desperately plug the fact that they're on the air. We'll play some tunes and have some fun and maybe Ivor will text in again.

So, 1st November, 3pm. Skive off school/college/work if you have to, it'll be worth it!

Adios x

You can listen to Tequila Radio on this link: www.tequilaradio.co.uk

Sincere Apologies

2010-10-19T13:35:00.000+01:00

It's not often that I will apologise for a lack of blogs. However, it's got a little bit crazy this time. And I'll explain to you why, it's not because of University at all. It's a technical fault. My keyboard on my laptop decided that I didn't need to use the letter E so the E key stopped working. A few days later the D key also joined the petition against it's use. I'm also fairly sure that other keys were soon to follow.

This is not because of my typing at all, it is because this is a very old laptop. I temporarily fixed the problem before I moved but it soon came back to bite me in the ass. Anyway, I've been bursting to write blogs but not had the capacity to do so as it took me about 10minutes to write a single paragraph. So I've had such brilliant ideas which you will all see in the next few days as I attempt to catch up on my monthly quota :)

So, watch this space!

Adios x

Christainism

2010-10-16T19:10:00.000+01:00

This is an ACTUAL conversation that happened with me on Omelge.

You: Hi

Stranger: Hi

You: You ok?

Stranger: yea

Stranger: you?

You: I'm great thanks.

You: :)

Stranger: :)
a/s/l?

You: M UK

You: 18

You: You

Stranger: F 19 USA

You: Ah cool

You: which state?

Stranger: California

You: Ah I love that place

You: ARe you a christain?

Stranger: yep ;)

Stranger: ?are you

You: nooo

You: atheist.

Stranger: :(
But Jesus loves you...

You: Okkkkk....

You: Sure.

You: Are you at Uni?

Stranger: Nope

You: u got a job?

Stranger: Nope :)

You: what u ddo then?

Stranger: hang out with friends

Stranger: Have you ever thought about going to church?

Stranger: you there?

Stranger: 5

Stranger: 4

Stranger: 3

You: I am

Stranger: 2

Stranger: ok

You: Yeah

You: when I was a kid

You: I was into all that

You: I grew out of it

Stranger: Why not now?

You: It's all just rubbish

Stranger: Jesus still died for you

You: No he didn't.

Stranger: Yes he did

You: Noooo.

You: I live a good life

You: I'm a nice guy

You: what's it matter that I'm not a Christain?

Stranger: Wouldn't you rather live for God and find out that he doesn't than vice-versa?

You: No.

You: I know all about him.

You: he's not real.

You: No one in the uk is christain anymore.

Stranger: ok

Stranger: Have fun burning in hell for all eternity

Stranger: Lemme know if you enjoy being burned forever :P

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Charming.

My Room

2010-10-14T19:33:00.000+01:00

My Room. I've been meaning to show you for a while what my rooms looks like. Ignore all the clothes, they all mostly gone now. My floor is mostly clear now... I should finish cleaning it up actually.

The first thing I noticed when I moved in was how disgusting the curtains were. They're horrid. I want to replace them but I can't be arsed. And plus I don't think I'm allowed. I'd replace them with red or blue curtains. I have a pretty big desk. Lots of space to put general shit on and do some work when I do do work. Double bed, with blue sheets which looks pretty swish.

I also have a few select photos. Although not enough, I want it to be more homely. If you walk into Heather's room, it's quite clear that it's homely. It's blatantly obvious, she's got her own little touch on the room. It's quite good. All her posters and stuff. I only have one poster and it's on the back of my door, it's a Pulp Fiction poster. My en suite is pretty nifty. I love having my own bathroom, it's sound as a pound.

You should come see it in person sometime.

Adios x

Charlie Pidcock Offers Some Advice

2010-10-12T18:17:00.000+01:00

Hello

It’s been a while ShrimpDude readers, I must say, hope you’re all good and well. I understand that you’re all off to Uni and gap years and such? Isn’t it nice that there is SOMEWHERE on the net that you can rendezvous? I have been a friend of Shrimp Dude since I was seven years old, I am really happy that he’s found a good university, he seems to be having a laugh and I’m going up to see him in a few weeks that should be exciting! I’m not really sure what to talk about, but I thought I would give you some information about earning money while at Uni.

First one is dead simply eBay, if you have stuff you don’t want any more CDs DVDs games and what have you then eBay is great for earning a little bit of money on the side. Obviously a lot of you will get bar jobs and stuff like that but sometimes you don’t have time to, if you go on to job sites there are often student jobs based on internet surveys and things like that and you can get quite a bit of money per survey you do.

One of the things I would stay WELL AWAY from is Clinical trials, my friend was going to sign up for them and thank God in the end he didn’t because they can mess you up! Seriously the reason you get so much money is because it’s dangerous! You could get ill, become infertile, get a tumour, go blind, anything could happen, they are untested FOR A REASON!

I found this website that gives a lot more information about earning as a student http://www.e4s.co.uk/docs/student-jobs.htm Things like helping organise events and promoting businesses. All good ways of earning money.

On the side of SPENDING money, you should try and keep your weekly shop bellow £20-25 at a push, and one o the greatest life savers were 30p bags of noodles where you could get 5 for a pound at my local offie in London. Learn to cook, normally buying ingredients is a lot more cost effective than buying ready made meals. Always buying “value” stuff keeps costs down too, and if you have things which you all use like butter, Bread and milk then have a house “kitty” or bank account and buy everything that you will all use together with the money in there. And normally this ends up saving you all a lot of money. Remember not to pay council tax by getting your uni to give you a notice letter to stop getting letters asking for it. Council tax in North West London was STUPIDLY EXPENSIVE! I’m talking over 900 quid! If you’re living in housing and paying rent then obviously living with people to share the rent is a brilliant idea, also with regards to heating and electrics, only use heat in the winter or when it’s necessary in the summer turn it off, you don’t need it.

Probably all things that are obvious but hope it helped you guys.

Charlie

PS: First night we moved in we got burgled so just remember to make sure the landlord has installed locks on the bedroom doors

My Life Goals If I die

2010-10-12T12:50:00.000+01:00

You thought it was the end of the "If I die" series? Well, you were very wrong indeed. If you haven't already seen the first three installments, here they are: My Funeral If I Die, My Blog If I Die and My Kids If I Die.

You see, I have things I want to do before I die, like anyone. And If I was to die prematurely, I would like someone to take on the mammoth task of completing some of these goals for me. They're nothing too hard, just the stuff I want to do before I die an if I die before that, you can give me a helping hand. So I'm going to write a list of all the things I'm going to do, and at my funeral it will be printed off and you can come and say which life goal you will do for me. Here's the list:

Name my son James
Take my family to Fiji
Live in the South of France
Have a threesome
Play the lead part in a play (again)
Commit a mild act of Treason
Get a Doctorate
Go to Constantinople (Istanbul)
Get Married
Go to Ireland
Live in America for a year
Go to New Zealand again.
Go to Barry Island
Do some stand up comedy

That's about it of my life goals. Or at least my life goals currently. Please try and do them for me :)

Adios x

Holy Japseye

2010-10-10T17:19:00.000+01:00

That's my room back home. How clean is that?

Adios x

Things I miss

2010-10-10T17:13:00.000+01:00

I miss Derby. Rather a lot, but it's not as simple as that. I thought to myself, I could make a list about all the things I miss. Then I thought, I'd actually make this list. So, in no particular order:

The Lads
Blue Note
The "Goose and Spliff"
Cross Keys
Watson Players
Decent Food
Mum's Cooking
The lesbians
Steve from the Local Shop
Ockbrook Moped Crew
Cafe Grazia
Derby People
My room back homes
The buses
My mates

I dunno, it's not that I'm longing to go home, it's just I miss all these things and people.

Adios x

Amateur Dramatics

2010-10-07T19:25:00.001+01:00

It's been a long time since I've been up on that stage. I've not done any acting or any sort since Theatre Studies A Level and I've not done a proper show since Red Riding Hood in January. I wasn't in the Watson Player's Summer Show because of my A Levels so I missed out on that (although I did go and see it, it was mint - especially Pete and Wetpatch's scene).

I can hear the stage calling me again. I miss acting so much, not only is it such a confident boost; it's also such an escape from reality. The kind of escape I will be craving shortly. Not only that, but it's also a great way to meet new people. I'm in a city where I barely know anyone. It'd be nice to get to know some locals as all the people I meet are obviously Students. There's three Universities based around Cardiff, so it's crammed with studentfolk. I bet this city just dies in the summer.

I don't really care what I'm acting in (as long as it's not Artaud). I wouldn't mind if it was a musical, panto or more serious acting - infact, it'd be nice to return to serious acting because the acting that is done in Pantomime Choruses isn't proper acting. Well, it's acting... I suppose I'm trying to say that it's not challenging acting. I just want to go down for one or two nights a week and just be able to escape it all.

There's an audition tomorrow I might go along to.

Adios x

Patriotism

2010-10-06T13:13:00.000+01:00

I don't know what it is with the Welsh, but they sure love their country. They're so patriotic. You can't go 10 metres in this country without being reminded of the fact that you're in Wales.

They absolutely love it. All of the road signs are translated into Welsh despite the fact that every Welshian I've spoke to can't speak it any better than I speak Spanish. South Wales is meant to be less patriotic than the North as well. However on the way back to my flat today I saw a tractor driving through the city centre with a small welsh flag sticking out the top.

Thing is, England ain't like that. It's not like that at all. You rarely ever see English flags unless the World Cup is on and then you can't escape them. It's like, we know that we're English, so we don't need to be constantly reminded of that fact, because we're modest. Or maybe infact, in today's modern society we're ashamed of how crap our country is. Let's be honest: We're a bitch to the EU, our Prime Minister is a twat and we've not won the World Cup in 43 years.

I still like England, I'm just not going to be sticking any flags up anytime soon.

Adios x

Takeout

2010-10-05T19:31:00.000+01:00

I didn't often have takeout when I was at home. Only really when my parents were out or couldn't be bothered to cook anything. Or occasionally just as a treat when I was at home.

You're probably expecting me to tell you that I've been eating a lot of it since I got to University. However, this isn't the case. I've only had a couple of takeouts since I've been here. Well, actually I've had one Chinese and that was during Freshers. We sat in and watched Shaun of the Dead while chowing on Chow Mein. It was about £35 between 6 or 7 of us. And I had leftovers for the next day, which I had for breakfast.

And I've just ordered my second takeout of University life. Two for Tuesday today so we ordered a couple of pizzas. I figured out if you order Cheese and Tomato and add Double Pepperoni, it's 3 quid cheaper than ordering a Pepperoni Passion, which is £16 for a large. So I did that and saved us a bit of cash. Which is good, because now I'm a student I'm looking for bargains more than ever.

It's nice for a treat.

Adios x

Eastenders

2010-10-05T13:52:00.000+01:00

Don't judge me, this is an amazing show. It's also the only soap I bother watching. And also, I only ever watch it when the storyline is any good. Which happens occasionally.

The reason I've been watching it since I arrived at University is twofold: 1) I have a lot of free time and 2) Alfie is back. Now, I've been watching eastenders for a number of years. I used to watch it with my mum when I was a kid, partly because if I watched it with her, I was allowed to stay up till it finished. And staying up for an extra half an hour was always worth it when you were 9. Anyway, Alfie is back. And back in the day, Alfie was my favourite character. He was absolutely legendary, full of charm and charisma.

So start watching, if you don't already!

Adios x

Derbz

2010-10-04T22:01:00.000+01:00

I went back to Derby this weekend. I was a bit homesick, I missed people and I wanted some normal food. Also, I needed to bring a few things I didn't have space for down to Cardiff.

I had an amazing weekend. I felt like before I didn't have a proper chance to say goodbye to everyone but I managed to do that properly. I felt like before that I was so concentrated on packing and preparing for Uni, I didn't get chance to say goodbye to Derby and all it's peoples properly. I went to Flo's Birthday meal (her birthday isn't until the 10th, but she was going to Uni, so had it early) and everyone was well and truly shocked, except the lads who already knew.

I managed to get to Blue Note, the greatest club in Derby. I had an amazing night there, so glad I managed to go back there. I love it. And I saw Jade, who I haven't seen in ages. And on Sunday, I just chilled with my family, and said goodbye to them properly. And best of all, I had a proper Roast Dinner on Sunday. Roast Chicken, green beans, yorkshires, roast potatoes and gravy. It was delicious.

There's no shame in visiting home, half the people I know went home last weekend.

Adios x

The Other Guys,,,?

2010-09-29T18:24:00.000+01:00

I just got back from watching this movie with Vaughan and Matias. And I don't often write movie reviews, you probably have realised by now. I'm a big fan of them, I watch a lot a year and make an effort to get to the cinema whenever something I want to watch is on, but I don't like blogging about it because not everyone has seen it and not everyone is interested.

However, I am blogging about this movie because it is the most confusing movie I have ever watched. I don't mean like, I didn't understand what was going on, I mean I don't know how I feel about it. I was watching it, and for the first 15minutes I was loving it, it was funny and there was Samuel Jackson and everyone was in high spirits and everyone trusted that Will Ferrel makes a good movie.

But the movie dragged on and nothing really happened and I was bored. I wasn't laughing, it wasn't particularly exciting. I was sat there and I was just waiting for things to happen. There were no big plot twists. There was barely any shooting in the middle. It was just a comedy that didn't work. The jokes between the characters were established and then overused to within an inch of their lives.

But then, out of nowhere, it kind of became a little bit interesting again. At the end, these two terrible cops suddenly became amazing and started kicking ass. And then it became interesting! I was enjoying watching them in the high speed pursuit. And it was entertaining. And it finished and Vaughan, Matias and I were looking at each other like... Was that a good film or not?

We concluded that it was a disappointment, so don't bother watching it.

Adios x

Dirty Fingers Podcast

2010-09-27T23:34:00.000+01:00

I was the guest on Charlie Pidcock's weekly podcast. If you think my voice is a bit weird, it's because I have a cold/ Fresher's Flu going on at a the moment. Here's the link.

I might be appearing on it again soon, until then,

Adios x

Uni Antics

2010-09-26T17:50:00.000+01:00

This is actually hilarious. This is the kind of stuff that happens at University. And this is like, the nice stuff. Not the nasty stuff, which makes me feel physically sick and I don't want to blog about that.

Anyway, I'm not going to name these people. So I'll change the names, to protect them. Bianca and David are these two people's fake names. Anyway, David and Bianca nearly hit it off but didn't. But that's just backstory. Bianca was really annoying David in Revs by winding him up, and David was doing the same back. It was rather banterish, but it also had like an underlining motive, like... I'm bantering, but I actually do think that.

So David, being rather disgusting spat in Bianca's drink when she went to the toilet. And Bianca, not knowing about it, drank the whole thing. And that would have been that, if it hadn't been for the fact we had a quiet night in the next day and watched Alice in Wonderland, and the scene where the White Witch is making a potion and at the very end, she spits in it. And you can imagine, we absolutely piss ourselves. But Bianca is confused because she's not laughing and questions and we tell her.

So since Friday, Bianca has been trying to come with a way of getting back at David. I went to their flat an hour ago and find them making vodka jelly. And they say, Dan you have to keep your mouth tonight! And I was like, what have I done? They said, no no. We're making vodka jelly but we're putting Viagra in David's jelly. They've put Viagra in it! I watched them open up a little blue pill and mix in the powder inside.

In case you didn't know, Viagra gives you a hard in for about 3 or 4 hours. It has been known to last for up to 48 hours! It only takes about 15minutes to kick in. So tonight, David is going to be sat there with a massive erection and there's not a goddamn thing he'll be about to do about it.

It's going to be hilar.

Adios x

Drinking Games

2010-09-26T14:24:00.001+01:00

Whether you're in Univeristy or not, you need to know about Drinking Games. You've got to have a few in your arsenal just in case the night isn't quite going to plan or you simply think everyone is far too sober. So here is a select few that I already knew/have picked up during Freshers.

Arrogance

Sit in a circle with a empty pint glass in the middle. You need a coin, any coin. First person pours a bit of their drink into the empty glass and then guesses heads or tails. The coin is then flipped. If they guess wrong, they have to down the contents of the "dirty pint". If they guess correctly, it moves onto the next person. They also add a bit of their drink to the dirty pint. So you can imagine you end up downing very dirty drinks.

Higher or Lower

Pretty simple. Pile of cards. Will the next one be higher or lower? If you're wrong, you drink.

Ring of Fire

Pretty standard drinking game. Fill an Empty pint glass with your drinks, to make it a dirty pint. Then get a deck of cards and spread around the dirty pint, making a ring. You take it in turns to take a card. Each card represents a different rule. And they vary from game to game but it's pretty standard to have:

A - Make a rule for everyone to follow for a round (including a forfeit)
2 - Two is You, Pick someone to drink (2 fingers)
3 - Me, You drink.
4 - Fours is Whores, Women drink.
5 -Word Association, hesitation or repetition means you drink.
6 - Six is Dicks, Men drink.
7 - Categories - pick a category and everyone must say a word associated with it. First to hesitate, drinks.
8- Eight is Mate, Pick someone to drink with you.
9 - Thumb Master, someone puts their thumb on their table and you the last to do so, drinks.
10 - Reverse - reverse the order.
J - Pour! Everyone adds a bit to the dirty pint.
Q - Questions. Everyone asks the person on their left a question which they must answer truthfully
K - Waterfall: Everyone starts drinking, you can't stop until the person on your right stops. Except for the person who picked it, who can stop when they want.

M-I-N-E

This is more played when going out to town. You're not allowed to say the word "mine" And if you do, you have to do a forfeit. I saw guys playing it last night who were doing 10 press ups as a forfeit. But it's pretty standard to just drink when as a forfeit. Tricks can be played with this, for example when we were playing it, I asked someone what those things are in the ground they blow up when you step on them.

I Have Never

In the South, they call this Never Ever Have I Ever which is just a stupid elongated version of the name. One person says for example: "I have never had sex with a man." and all the people in the circle who have done that, have to drink. It's a very fun game and generally is sex related. And the dirtier you are, the more you drink.

There you go, they should get you going. If you want any more, contact me :)

Adios x